My Journey......Mrs. Butterworth, 128 years of hard waffles

[Premium Parrots]

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.


He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.


He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.


Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.


People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She
sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink..


Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'


Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered






'THE TEETH.'

[wa3zrm]

Major Breaking News: Males Are Not Females
Townhall.com ^ |


I was filling out a form at the doctor’s office the other day when I was reminded of a stark truth: Biological, genetic males will never be females, no matter how much surgery they have and no matter how many hormones they take.

The medical form had a line that said: “FEMALES: Time of last menstruation?” – and in a flash, I said to myself, Yes! There really are differences between males and females!

And that’s another reason why Bruce Jenner will never be a woman, no matter how hard he tries. (Let me pause for a moment for all those who want to shout, “Bigot! Hater! Transphobe! You’re worse than Hitler!” Go ahead and get that out of your system, then you can keep reading. But feel free to pause every so often to vent your feelings.)

I was reminded of this stark reality again when my son-in-law Jimmy played part of the video of Bruce Jenner’s acceptance speech for his ESPY’s courage award.

Jimmy had pulled up the clip on his cell phone, and I was sitting next to him when I heard a man speaking.

It was only when I looked over at his phone that I realized who the man was – now looking like a strangely disfigured woman – and Jimmy said to me, “It looks like a joke, but everyone is going along with it.”

But of course.

To not go along with this – no, let me take this a step farther – to not celebrate this wonderful moment is to be a mean-spirited, close-minded bigot of the worst kind. Even if you’re not smiling broadly enough and clapping vociferously enough when “Caitlyn” Jenner is announced is to mark yourself as a bigot (just ask former NFL icon Brett Favre).

And God forbid you say, “I just know that's Bruce Jenner and I'll leave it at that,” as former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield said.

The vitriol directed at Holyfield for uttering these simple, common sense words is vicious beyond description, but it’s fully justified, of course, because he’s being judgmental.

It’s a good thing for the world of sports that Jenner isn’t a young, world class athlete today.

Otherwise, the Olympic committee and other sports organizations would have to decide if this athletically gifted male could compete with females. Would they dare be transphobic and bigoted and tell him he couldn’t?

These issues have already come up in the world of combat sports, where a so-called male-to-female fighter has been dominating his female opponents to the point that some have openly complained and others have refused to fight him.

Is this really fair?

It appears that the female fighters involved are not impressed with the testimony of medical experts who have declared that this biological male, because of female hormones, has no physical advantage over his opponents.

The absurd, even surreal nature of this discussion is underscored by an article that appeared on the website for KOAT News, an ABC affiliate in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

The headline reads, “Birth certificate keeps transgender student off volleyball court,” and the story begins with these touching words: “Like many teenage girls, Alex Trujillo likes makeup, has teen idols and stays active.

“Yet, she can't play on the girl's volleyball team at Laguna-Acoma High School. School officials say that's because Trujillo was born a male.”

How bigoted and discriminatory! How utterly transphobic!

How can this be? The school will not let this biological male play on the girls’ volleyball team and compete against other girls simply because of a piece of paper?

The article, which always refers to him as her, states that “she isn't free to play the sport she has a passion for,” explaining that, “The gender on student's birth certificate dictates which team he or she will play for, according to the New Mexico Athletic Association. In New Mexico, someone can amend their birth certificate but only after reassignment surgery.”

Did you catch that? The gender on the birth certificate dictates what side you play on.

To be precise, it’s whether you are male or female that dictates what side you play on, because males have athletic advantages over females, and the birth certificate simply notes whether you are male or female. Even after sex-change surgery, those advantages and differences largely (or completely) remain, which means that you still should not be able to switch sides in sports.

But even with the allowance for changing one’s birth certificate after sex-change surgery, which is still outrageous, this wasn’t enough for transgender advocates, who say that the New Mexico laws are “unfair because not everyone opts to have that surgery.”

Once again, we are catering to social insanity, and if we really care about Alex (or about Bruce Jenner or about countless others who struggle deeply with gender identity issues), we must stop collaborating with this social madness and do whatever we can to help them find wholeness from the inside out.

The news of the last few days – from the New Mexico story to the prestigious ESPY awards – reminds us that we have our work cut out for us.

Who is going to drink the Kool-Aid next?

At least each of us can say, “Not me!”

[Burnsey]

5 o'clock ........... somewhere........

[Andy105]

Andy....I'll tell ya if you are correct when I'm finished......after I brush my teeth/mouthwash.

..

[Premium Parrots]

Andy....I'll tell ya if you are correct when I'm finished.....ATM I'm kind of busy with the wife.

and.....after I brush my teeth/mouthwash.




a promise is a promise ya know.

[Andy105]

Its Howdy Doody Time!

[Premium Parrots]

.............and NO!!

I'm definitely not going to make the same deal with you guys. never

[Premium Parrots]

lmao!!!! wrong.

I just asked my wife the same question. She thought about if for about 20 minutes and still couldn't figure it out.

THEN I said if you can give me the correct answer I will preform oral on her tonight until she begs me to stop and **** her [my normal operating procedure].


Sonofabitch....she had the answer within 60 seconds.




I know what I'm doing tonight.


seriously, now I have to do it.

[Lesli]

7:10

[Andy105]

DAM!! After almost 7 years since I first started this thread no one has correctly answered my question in the very first post.

Are you people in the peanut gallery sleeping or what? geez

It's beer-thirty PM. :eagerness:

[Premium Parrots]

DAM!! After almost 7 years since I first started this thread no one has correctly answered my question in the very first post.

Are you people in the peanut gallery sleeping or what? geez

[Premium Parrots]

A gift for the cat that has everything.......Get your Twinkle Tush today! I think I may get one for my wife..........

[wa3zrm]

Hundreds of sex toys dangling from power lines in Portland, Oregon

PORTLAND, Ore. (Reuters) - Hundreds of phallic sex toys have been seen hanging in recent days from power lines across Portland, Oregon, provoking laughter, blushing and lots of photos.

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...

[Burnsey]

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old ugly woman, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the woman was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the old woman. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.The old ugly woman wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the woman answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the woman had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the ugly woman had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The young beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared ugly, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night? Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old ugly woman? Or, would he prefer having a hideous woman during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments? What would You do? What Lancelot chose is below. Make your own choice before you scroll down below. Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now....what is the moral to this story? The moral is.....If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

[wa3zrm]