
My Journey......Mrs. Butterworth, 128 years of hard waffles
Collapse
X
-
Little Akio
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some History. Who said: 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from
Japan, who had his hand up:
"Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.
"Very good!
Who said: 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'?"
Again, no response except from Little Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
"Excellent!" said the teacher continuing. "Let's try one a bit more difficult.
Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?"
Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F. Kennedy, 1961."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Little Akio isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F--k the Japs."
"Who said that? I want to know right now !" ...she angrily demanded.
Little Akio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks, "All right! Now who said that?" Again, Little Akio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
"Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit! If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Little Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004."
The teacher fainted.
As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh Shit, we are finished."
Little Akio said quietly, "Americans, if Hillary gets elected.”
Leave a comment:
-
Pfizer & Pepsi to Merge
This will no doubt put Coca Cola out of business in the near future…! The Pfizer Corporation announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and this new product will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old-fashioned stiff drink. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day...There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2025, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Leave a comment:
-
More email logic from my friend Chuck....
Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
> > #9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
> > #8. Life is sexually transmitted.
> > #7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
> > #6. Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
> > #5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
> > #4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
> > #3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
> > #2. In the Sixties, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
> > #1. Life is like a jar of Jalapeno Chillies. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
> > Don't ignore this message. This is your only warning.
Leave a comment:
-
Originally posted by burnsey View Postaustralian telephone operator: "g'day mate .. Helpline here ... What's the problem?"
customer: "i'm in the outback with the girlfriend and she's been stung on her upper thigh by a hornet and now her v____a has completely closed up!"
australian telephone operator: "bummer!"
customer: "great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”
lmao!!!!
Leave a comment:
Related Topics
Collapse
-
by wa3zrmThe Week ^
In much the same way most American homes have different half-filled tubes of sunblock, off-sized batteries, and calculators...-
Channel: People and World Around Us
-
-
by wa3zrm• One Baby Policy Blamed for Killing Babies in China
Some Chinese people are known to be eating babies, and the news, which has been circulating...-
Channel: People and World Around Us
-
-
-
by wa3zrmDog Meat: It Cures Malaria, Repels Witches – Eaters in Ibusa, Agbor, Ubulu-Uku, Umunede
Vanguard (Nigeria) ^
AGBOR—THE number...-
Channel: People and World Around Us
-
-
Wouldn't it be great if there was a way to have a list of people currently logged into Jammo posted right here on SnusOn? That way we would know who...
-
Channel: People and World Around Us
-
- Loading...
- No more items.
Links:
BuySnus.com |
SnusExpress.com |
SnusCENTRAL.com |
BuySnus EU |
BuySnus.at |
BuySnus.ch |
SnusExpress.ch
Leave a comment: