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11th person to post a decent joke on this thread.....

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  • #16
    oh sorry - I'll stop lol

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    • #17
      lol no need to stop. you first 2 jokes count tho. But sadly, you can't win. ;(

      we currently have 7 qualifying jokes


      4 more to go

      Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......


      I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.

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      • #18
        A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children.

        "You all have obsessions," he observed.

        To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

        He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

        At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

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        • #19
          Gotta luv midget jokes

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          • #20
            I used to fear I could not hear and then I found there was no sound

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            • #21
              Fay - you're making my jokes look a bit....'impolite'

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              • #22
                This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car at some lights whilst not really paying attention.
                The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
                He said "I'm not happy."
                I replied "Well, which one are you then?"

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                • #23
                  Statistically 9/11 Americans won't get this.

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                  • #24
                    The Chicken and The Egg

                    A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.

                    The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."
                    If you have any problems with my posts or signature


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                    • #25
                      lmao.


                      I have a surprize for all of you when this is finished.





                      that chicken joke was number 10 ya know.....

                      Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......


                      I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
                        We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f**king red mark on her forehead.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Frosted
                          My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
                          We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f**king red mark on her forehead.
                          lmao. seriously I almost swallowed my portion

                          Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......


                          I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.

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                          • #28
                            Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
                            If you have any problems with my posts or signature


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                            • #29
                              The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.
                              One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
                              A voice came from the cubicle next to me "Hello mate, how are you doing?"
                              Although I thought it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied "Not too bad, thanks."
                              After a short pause, i heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?"
                              Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick shit....How about yourself?"
                              The next thing I heard him say was, "Sorry mate, I'll have to ring you back. I've got some c**t in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."

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                              • #30
                                Ma and Pa where rocking on the front porch when Pa turned and slapped Ma, Ma said what was that for? Pa said for forty years of bad sex. Ma said oh and continued rocking. Ma reached over and slapped Pa. Pa said what was that for? Ma said for knowing the difference.

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