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11th person to post a decent joke on this thread.....

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  • 11th person to post a decent joke on this thread.....

    gets 5 free tins of snus including shipping. It better be a good joke. You may post only 2 jokes max to win. After the 11th post wins I don't give a dam how many jokes you post.

    Ready

    set












    go!!

    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......


    I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.

  • #2
    Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the forest to Grandma's house. Suddenly a big bad wolf appears.
    "Hello, Litlle Red Riding Hood," says the wolf. He stands up on his hind legs so that he towers above her menacingly. "Take off your clothes," he commands, "I am going to fsck you."
    Litle Red pulls out a .44 Magnum "Oh no you're not," she says. "You're going to eat me like the book says."

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    • #3
      lmao.


      that really made me laff, thanks

      Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......


      I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.

      Comment


      • #4
        The doctor walks into the examination room. There is a very beautiful woman lying on the table. The doctor begins his exam, and lets his hands wander. He strokes her neck, and asks "Do you know what I'm doing?" She replies "Your checking my lymph nodes."

        He moves his arms down, unbuttons her shirt, and fondles her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing?" he asks. "Your checking for breast cancer" she replies. The doctor figures since the woman is obviously depressed and being very complacent, he'll try his luck.

        So he pulls it out of his pants, takes off the patients skirt, and goes to work. "Do you know what I'm doing?" he asks. "Yes," she replies. "Your getting Gonorrhea, thats what I'm here for."

        There's my 2...I'm poor and need snus! Enjoy!

        This is gonna be a fun thread!

        Comment


        • #5
          Rut ro frosty!
          wiki "Popcorn Sutton" a true COOT!

          Comment


          • #6
            When do you kick a midget in the balls?

            When he is standing next to your wife saying her hair smells nice!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Skell18
              When do you kick a midget in the balls?

              When he is standing next to your wife saying her hair smells nice!
              Ha!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by whalen
                Rut ro frosty!
                that doesn't count dear

                Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......


                I've been wrong lots of times. Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Premium Parrots
                  gets 5 free tins of snus including shipping. It better be a good joke. You may post only 2 jokes max to win. After the 11th post wins I don't give a dam how many jokes you post.
                  What are the five free tins?
                  If you have any problems with my posts or signature


                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The three tasks
                    A guy, short of money asked a man what he could do to earn some.

                    The man replied "I'll give you $1000 if you do three tasks."

                    You need to knock out a wrestler, pull a loose tooth out of a dingo's mouth and screw an old lady.

                    So the guy quickly runs up to the wrestler and punches him out.

                    He then leaps into the bushes after the dingo. Several minutes go buy and he is heard rolling around and moaning before finally emerging triumphant.

                    He then turns to the man and says "Where's this old lady so I can pull her tooth out and get paid

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I stopped my car in a lay-by last night and had sex with a complete stranger. As I sat there with one hand on the steering wheel, she suddenly climbed on top of me and said "The deal is you must pull out just before ejaculating."
                      I agreed and a few minutes later, as I got the urge to shoot my load, I quickly pulled out. Knocking some poor c**t off his motorbike.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

                        A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          A lesbain regained consciousness in hospital. She saw a doctor, a nurse and a young man by her bed.
                          "You're lucky to be alive," said the doctor. "Your car crashed in a blizzard, and this young man found you unconscious. He rang for an ambulance, but it couldn't get through the snow. So he carried you all the way here in the cold, and we found you needed a blood transfusion. Fortunately his blood group is the same as yours, so he gave some of his. Then he phoned a garage and got your car picked up, and now it's fixed. So you'll be okay, and this nurse has driven your car here, so that's ready."
                          The lesbain said, "Thank you EVER so much." She reached up and hugged the nurse, then snarled at the young man, "Too much trouble for you to go and fetch my car was it?"

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                          • #14
                            "Mum, am I gay?" "I know you are son." "How did you know? I thought I had kept it pretty quiet." "Well, when I wash your brother's undies the spunk stains are in the front. When I do yours, they're in the back."

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I saw some black kids spraypainting their names on a wall and decided to join in.
                              I'd only done the first three letters of my name when they started beating the shit out of me.
                              They obviously don't like people called Nigel.

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