I Won At The Casino! Several Contests! As promised.

[jagmanss]

$60,500

[jagmanss]

$42,000

[jagmanss]

$55,500

[jagmanss]

$50,500

[jagmanss]

$25,500

[jagmanss]

$41,500

[jagmanss]

$24,500

[jagmanss]

$67,000

[jagmanss]

$65,500

[phantom]

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."
Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself."
The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?"
God says, "Ah, yes."
"Well," says Davidson, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much front end protrusion.
2. It chatters at high speeds.
3. The rear end wobbles too much, and
4. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust."
"Hmmm..." replies God, "hold on."
God goes to the Celestial Super computer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it.
"It may be that my invention is flawed," God replies to Arthur Davidson, "but according to My Computer, more people are riding my invention than yours!"



$1600.00

[Snotgifff]

$35,500

What do you call the moisture that builds up between the bodies of two rednecks making love?

Relative humidity

[Snotgifff]

$38,500

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

[Snotgifff]

$64,250

The elephant asked the camel: "Why do you have your breasts on your back?"

The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face.

[phantom]

$ 20,000.00

[resnor]

LOL With which guess?

$36,500