My Journey......Mrs. Butterworth, 128 years of hard waffles

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  • Premium Parrots
    Super Moderators
    • Feb 2008
    • 9763

    #826
    This is Truly An Incredible Story

    In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

    As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

    Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

    Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

    Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

    The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

    Probably wasn't the same elephant.













    (Sorry...this was an evil trick, it is an old joke that has circulated forever...I thought it was a nice contrast to my previous posting about the lion.)
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





    I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


    Comment

    • Crow
      Member
      • Oct 2010
      • 4312

      #827
      Originally posted by Premium Parrots
      The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

      Probably wasn't the same elephant.













      (Sorry...this was an evil trick, it is an old joke that has circulated forever...I thought it was a nice contrast to my previous posting about the lion.)
      This one... I was expecting the exact opposite... I loved it, haha!
      Words of Wisdom

      Premium Parrots: only if the carpet matches the drapes.
      Crow: Of course, that's a given.
      Crow: Imagine a jet black 'raven' with a red bush?
      Crow: Hmm... You know, that actually sounds intriguing to me.
      Premium Parrots: sounds like a freak to me
      Premium Parrots: remember DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK ON CROW
      Premium Parrots: not that it would hurt one bit if he nailed you with his little pecker.
      Frosted: lucky twat
      Frosted: Aussie slags
      Frosted: Mind the STDs Crow

      Comment

      • Zimobog
        Member
        • Jan 2013
        • 585

        #828
        Golly. Apparently Col. Sanders was as once considered a target of NSA scrutiny and CIA custody at an undisclosed prison in Estonia. The government KNEW if it could harness the power of his secret recipe the US could conquer the entire African continent.

        That was his story.

        Comment

        • Burnsey
          Member
          • Jan 2013
          • 2572

          #829
          After being married for thirty years, a wife asked herhusband to describe her.

          He looked at her for a while, then said,
          "You're an
          alphabet wife ..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

          She asks ... "What the hell does that mean?"

          He said,
          "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful,Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous, and Hot".

          She smiled happily and said ...
          "Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J,K?"

          He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

          The swelling in his eye is going down and
          the doctor is
          fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

          Comment

          • Premium Parrots
            Super Moderators
            • Feb 2008
            • 9763

            #830
            lmao, good one
            Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





            I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


            Comment

            • Premium Parrots
              Super Moderators
              • Feb 2008
              • 9763

              #831
              Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





              I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


              Comment

              • Premium Parrots
                Super Moderators
                • Feb 2008
                • 9763

                #832
                Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





                I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


                Comment

                • Premium Parrots
                  Super Moderators
                  • Feb 2008
                  • 9763

                  #833
                  Holy crap....By the time this chevy gets to 3rd gear it disappears


                  Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





                  I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


                  Comment

                  • lxskllr
                    Member
                    • Sep 2007
                    • 13435

                    #834

                    Comment

                    • Premium Parrots
                      Super Moderators
                      • Feb 2008
                      • 9763

                      #835
                      lmao that has hints of Monty Python and Benny Hill.

                      without the girls in skimpy outfits. ;(
                      Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





                      I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


                      Comment

                      • Frosted
                        Member
                        • Mar 2010
                        • 5798

                        #836
                        Your wtf video of the day

                        Comment

                        • Burnsey
                          Member
                          • Jan 2013
                          • 2572

                          #837
                          Originally posted by Premium Parrots
                          lmao that has hints of Monty Python and Benny Hill.

                          without the girls in skimpy outfits. ;(
                          Reminded me of a favorite.... =-)

                          Comment

                          • CzechCzar
                            Member
                            • Jun 2010
                            • 1144

                            #838

                            greenshot download

                            Comment

                            • Premium Parrots
                              Super Moderators
                              • Feb 2008
                              • 9763

                              #839
                              Originally posted by Premium Parrots


                              ......and sometimes a bit of gore. Did I mention that?











                              Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





                              I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


                              Comment

                              • Premium Parrots
                                Super Moderators
                                • Feb 2008
                                • 9763

                                #840
                                ....and lets not forget

                                http://www.snuson.com/showthread.php...ght=snus+worms

                                read it and fish....


                                Last edited by Premium Parrots; 03-05-17, 10:24 AM.
                                Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying......





                                I've been wrong lots of times.  Lots of times I've thought I was wrong only to find out that I was right in the beginning.


                                Comment

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