JOKE THREAD

[sgreger1]

Have you heard about the new Science Fiction based Porno? Sarah Palin stars as the new Barbarella blasting through the galaxy in a spaceship shaped like a hockey puck. She finds a planet inhabited by "Special Needs" men, and she bangs them all. It's called Avatard.

LOLOLOLOL//not as good as the sarah palin hustler porno.


We tried to reach Sarah for comments but unfortunately, Palin was unable to respond to the criticism, because she was wearing gloves.

[Mordred]

A hunchback and a paraplegic are in a rural pub, trying drink their sorrows away. They exchange stories about how miserable their lives are because of their disabilities and get some solace out of the camaraderie. But, as it's getting late, the hunchback decides to head home, since he needs to get up early for his miserable job.

Because it's really late, he decides to take the shortcut through the graveyard. Normally, he wouldn't do this, since it creeps him out, especially at night, but he's so drunk and miserable that he doesn't really care.

As the hunchback's walking amongst the graves on this foggy night, he suddenly hears a voice calling out to him:

"Come heeeere, laddie!"

The voice is creepy as hell, that of an immensely ancient woman. The hunchback wants to run, but his curiosity eventually gets the better of him and he heads towards where he heard the voice. Just as he's starting to think he must have been hallucinating, he hears the voice again:

"Come heeeere, laddie!"

And as he turns the corner, he sees an unbelievably old and ugly hag straddling a tombstone.

"Come closer, laddie", she whispers, and he does, as if hypnotized.

"Do you have a hump, laddie?", she asks.

"Erm... well, yes".

"Well, not anymore" she says and snaps her fingers, then laughs maniacally.

The hunchback feels his back, checks his posture and the hag told the truth. His disability is gone. Overjoyed, he runs towards his home, to tell the family the good news. But on his way, he remembers his friend, the paraplegic at the pub. He heads back there, determined to get the guy to see the old hag too. So he storms into the pub, grabs the dude in his wheelchair and wheels him to the graveyard. The paraplegic, in a drunken stupor, can only weakly protest.

As they get back to the graveyard, the former hunchback realizes he has no idea where exactly the hag is, and as they wander amongst the tombstones, he fears that he may not be able to find her again. Just as he's about to give up hope, he hears the voice again:

"Come heeeere, laddie!"

He immediately wheels the paraplegic there, almost toppling over the wheelchair in the process. Sure enough, the old hag is still there.

"Come closer, laddie", she commands, and after some encouragement from his friend, the paraplegic wheels his chair close to the old woman. Once he's there, she asks him:

"Do you have a hump, laddie?"

"Erm...no."

She laughs, and snaps her fingers: "Well, you do now!"

[bmwgsa]

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there).

He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow.

He reaches under to see if the cow gives milk.

When he grabs a teat and pulls....the cow farts.

Surprised, Ole looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under to try again.

He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.

Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow.

When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens.'

Sven reaches under, pulls the teat...the cow farts.

Sven looks at Ole and says, You bought dis here cow over in Nordakota, didn't yah?'

Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip.

Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how did yah know?'

Sven says, 'My wife is from Nordakota.'

[sgreger1]

'My wife is from Nordakota.'

lolololo