11th person to post a decent joke on this thread.....

[wa3zrm]

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

[Premium Parrots]

My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f**king red mark on her forehead.

lmao. seriously I almost swallowed my portion

[Frosted]

My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f**king red mark on her forehead.

[Premium Parrots]

lmao.


I have a surprize for all of you when this is finished.





that chicken joke was number 10 ya know.....

[wa3zrm]

The Chicken and The Egg

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

[Frosted]

Statistically 9/11 Americans won't get this.

[Frosted]

This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car at some lights whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said "I'm not happy."
I replied "Well, which one are you then?"

[Frosted]

Fay - you're making my jokes look a bit....'impolite'

[Faylool]

I used to fear I could not hear and then I found there was no sound

[tattooer601]

Gotta luv midget jokes

[phantom]

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

[Premium Parrots]

lol no need to stop. you first 2 jokes count tho. But sadly, you can't win. ;(

we currently have 7 qualifying jokes


4 more to go

[Frosted]

oh sorry - I'll stop lol

[Frosted]

I saw some black kids spraypainting their names on a wall and decided to join in.
I'd only done the first three letters of my name when they started beating the shit out of me.
They obviously don't like people called Nigel.

[Frosted]

"Mum, am I gay?" "I know you are son." "How did you know? I thought I had kept it pretty quiet." "Well, when I wash your brother's undies the spunk stains are in the front. When I do yours, they're in the back."