A man who lost his balls

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  • Thunder_Snus
    Member
    • Oct 2011
    • 1316

    #1

    A man who lost his balls

    Joe was a successful man. He had a great job, amazing friends, a dog, an incredible love life and a bomb shelter filled with 500 cans of every snus ever made. The only flaw with Joe was that he was having severe headaches. He had starting having headaches when he turned 18. they came and went and were not too frequent until now 30 years later, they were becoming more and more frequent.

    Joe sought help from several doctors until one finally found the problem. "Joe" he said. "You have a rare condition that causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine which causes severe headaches. The only way to make this go away would be to remove your testicles." Joe took some time to consider his options. He loves his package and so did the women he entertained, but he could no longer put up with the burden of these headaches. He had the operation and within a few weeks was out of the hospital.

    Joe no longer felt like a man, but he decided he was going to make the best of his new package free life. Joe thought "Hey since I have no use for women anymore i can treat myself to more lavish things instead of entertaining women to bars, restaurants, and other things." He stopped in a men's clothing store to spoil himself with some a new suit.

    He entered the shop and said "I would like a new suit please."
    The tailor looked him over for a brief moment and said "Lets see.... a size 42 long"
    "Yes" said Joe "How did you know?"
    "Been in business 40 years" said the tailor.
    Joe tried on the new suit and it fit perfectly.
    "How about a new shirt as well?" asked the tailor.
    "Sure" said Joe.
    "Lets see. 32 sleeves and a 15 1/4 neck"
    "Wow" said Joe. "Thats amazing how did you know?"
    "Been in business 40 years" repeated the tailor.
    Joe tried on the the shirt and it fit perfectly.
    The tailor talked Joe into custom made socks as well, again guessing the precise measurement.
    "How about some new underwear?" asked the tailor. "We have the finest Japanese silk that is the most luxurious you can buy in the world"
    Joe wasn't all for it but then remember he was treating himself because that was all that mattered now.
    "Sure why not" said Joe.
    "I'll go get a few size 36" said the tailor.
    "I'm afraid you are wrong my friend" Exclaimed Joe. "I've worn size 34 since I turned 18 years old."
    The tailor shook his head with a puzzled look on his face. "You can't wear a size 34 my friend. That would cause your balls to press up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
  • EricHill78
    Member
    • Jun 2010
    • 4253

    #2
    Lmao good one..

    I would change the end though, instead of saying "You idiot!" Maybe say "you are wrong on that one pal I'm a 34" I don't think the character would fly off the handle like that.

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    • Thunder_Snus
      Member
      • Oct 2011
      • 1316

      #3
      Your right. My 360 controller was on the firtz when iw rote that so i was a little bit angry. fixed

      Comment

      • LincolnSnuff
        Member
        • May 2010
        • 676

        #4
        Originally posted by Thunder_Snus
        Your right. My 360 controller was on the firtz when iw rote that so i was a little bit angry. fixed
        Wait. You wrote the OP with an XBOX controller? Crazy... That would take me 20 min. at least. I hate typing on XBOX live. Kudos.

        Comment

        • Thunder_Snus
          Member
          • Oct 2011
          • 1316

          #5
          lol no i wrote it with a keyboard. My razer onza which was pretty costly for a controller when it came out is moving my spartan forward when im trying to go super mlg pro on nubs

          Comment

          • EricHill78
            Member
            • Jun 2010
            • 4253

            #6
            That's perfect thunder.. lolz

            Comment

            • LincolnSnuff
              Member
              • May 2010
              • 676

              #7
              I wish I understood 25% of what you just said...

              lol

              Comment

              • EricHill78
                Member
                • Jun 2010
                • 4253

                #8
                Originally posted by LincolnSnuff
                I wish I understood 25% of what you just said...

                lol
                Lmao, I think it's sexual to be honest. Better we not know.

                Comment

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