The Snuson Confessional Sacristy & Bulletin

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Chinese woman, 95, comes back to life by climbing out her coffin six days after she 'died'

A 95-year-old Chinese woman thought to have passed away stunned her neighbours - after waking up six days after she had been placed in a coffin.
Li Xiufeng was found motionless and not breathing in bed by a neighbour two weeks after tripping and suffering a head injury at her home in Beiliu, Guangxi Province. When the neighbour who found her could not wake the pensioner up, they feared the worst and thought the elderly woman had passed away.
She was placed in a coffin which was kept in her house unsealed under Chinese tradition for friends and relatives to pay respects.
But the day before the funeral, neighbours found an empty coffin, and later discovered the 95-year-old, who had since woken up, in her kitchen cooking.
Neighbour Chen Qingwang, 60, who originally found Mrs Xiufeng, said: 'She didn't get up, so I came up to wake her up.
'No matter how hard I pushed her and called her name, she had no reactions.
'I felt something was wrong, so I tried her breath, and she has gone, but her body is still not cold.'
As Mrs Xiufeng lived alone, Mr Qingwang and his son made preparations for her funeral, and the 'dead' woman was left in her coffin two days after she was discovered. The day before she was due to be permanently laid to rest, however, Mr Qingwang arrived at his neighbour's property and found her 'corpse' had disappeared.
Mr Qingwang added: 'We were so terrified, and immediately asked the neighbours to come for help.'
Neighbours searched her property before finding the pensioner in her kitchen cooking.
She reportedly told villagers: 'I slept for a long time. After waking up, I felt so hungry, and wanted to cook something to eat.

(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...

What in the literal ****? Where was the coffin, was there enough oxygen? I'd imaging them being pretty hungry lol. Maybe this guy is jesus or something, back from ye old afterlife to make a tuna melt.

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Give it back!

An Irish burglar has the heart of a saint - and the church wants it back

LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Whoever stole the relic had to cut through two bars, pry the cage loose, and stealthily made off with it over the weekend.

"I am devastated that one of the treasured artifacts of the cathedral is stolen," the Most Rev. Dermot Dunne, the cathedral's dean says. "It has no economic value but it is a priceless treasure that links our present foundation with its founding father."

The Garda Siochana, Ireland's national police force say that detectives are studying hours of closed-circuit TV footage to try to identify the approximately 40 people who walked out the cathedral's front doors Saturday morning.

Investigators say the thief may have hidden overnight in the cathedral and fled with the heart when its doors opened Saturday. Worshippers didn't spot that the relic was missing until later that afternoon. No arrests have been made.

The Cathedral's Director of Operations Nuala Kavanagh said whoever stole it appeared to have no interest in financial gain, since several nearby objects made of gold and other precious materials were not touched.

"It's completely bizarre," she said. "They didn't touch anything else. They wanted the heart of St. Laurence O'Toole."

Church services went through as usual on Sunday. Tourists visiting the Viking-era cathedral weren't told of the theft. Many approached the O'Toole chapel and spent much time looking, confusedly, between their guide books and the pried-open box.

Ireland's churches have suffered a spate of such robberies of irreplaceable - and difficult to sell, religious artifacts.

Three relics believed to be fragments of the cross used to crucify Jesus were stolen last year from Holy Cross Abbey in County Tipperary. Police have since recovered those relics in January, without arrests.

In January, a thief stole the ornate container housing the jawbone of St. Brigid in a north side Dublin church. The container was bolted down to the altar. However and had just been cleaned. The jawbone of St. Brigid, one of Ireland's earliest and most venerated saints, wasn't inside.

O'Toole was Dublin's archbishop from 1162 to 1180 and gained a reputation as a skillful mediator between rival Gaelic and Norman factions then fighting for power in Ireland. He died aged 58 while traveling in Normandy on another peace mission. On his death bed he was said to have declined to make a will, claiming not to have a penny to his name.

Pope Honorius III canonized O'Toole in 1225 on the weight of many claims of miracles at his original grave site. O'Toole's heart had been the last surviving part of his remains.

http://images.catholic.org/ins_news/2012031557heart.jpg

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AP Exclusive: Obama's transgender ex-nanny outcast

JAKARTA, Indonesia (AP) — Once, long ago, Evie looked after "Barry" Obama, the kid who would grow up to become the world's most powerful man. Now, his transgender former nanny has given up her tight, flowery dresses, her brocade vest and her bras, and is living in fear on Indonesia's streets.
Evie, who was born a man but believes she is really a woman, has endured a lifetime of taunts and beatings because of her identity. She describes how soldiers once shaved her long, black hair to the scalp and smashed out glowing cigarettes onto her hands and arms.
The turning point came when she found a transgender friend's bloated body floating in a backed-up sewage canal two decades ago. She grabbed all her girlie clothes in her arms and stuffed them into two big boxes. Half-used lipstick, powder, eye makeup — she gave them all away.

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...

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Chinese woman, 95, comes back to life by climbing out her coffin six days after she 'died'

A 95-year-old Chinese woman thought to have passed away stunned her neighbours - after waking up six days after she had been placed in a coffin.
Li Xiufeng was found motionless and not breathing in bed by a neighbour two weeks after tripping and suffering a head injury at her home in Beiliu, Guangxi Province. When the neighbour who found her could not wake the pensioner up, they feared the worst and thought the elderly woman had passed away.
She was placed in a coffin which was kept in her house unsealed under Chinese tradition for friends and relatives to pay respects.
But the day before the funeral, neighbours found an empty coffin, and later discovered the 95-year-old, who had since woken up, in her kitchen cooking.
Neighbour Chen Qingwang, 60, who originally found Mrs Xiufeng, said: 'She didn't get up, so I came up to wake her up.
'No matter how hard I pushed her and called her name, she had no reactions.
'I felt something was wrong, so I tried her breath, and she has gone, but her body is still not cold.'
As Mrs Xiufeng lived alone, Mr Qingwang and his son made preparations for her funeral, and the 'dead' woman was left in her coffin two days after she was discovered. The day before she was due to be permanently laid to rest, however, Mr Qingwang arrived at his neighbour's property and found her 'corpse' had disappeared.
Mr Qingwang added: 'We were so terrified, and immediately asked the neighbours to come for help.'
Neighbours searched her property before finding the pensioner in her kitchen cooking.
She reportedly told villagers: 'I slept for a long time. After waking up, I felt so hungry, and wanted to cook something to eat.

(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...

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Daily Kos calls for Westboro Baptist Church to protest at Breitbart funeral

Although the news of Andrew Breitbart’s death is still fairly fresh, the merry band of faceless marauders at the Daily Kos have decided it is time to use his death as an opportunity to make political hay.
A post dated March 1 by “dragon82a,” titled “Let’s Help Andrew Breitbart go out In Style..Get Westboro Baptist Church to Protest Him” encourages readers to post on the Westboro Baptist Church’s Facebook page calling for the group to protest Andrew Breitbart’s funeral:

(Excerpt) Read more at dailycaller.com ...

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When to Say "Yes" and When to Say "No" to Panhandlers
Berkeley Daily Planet ^ |

Panhandling has always been an important part of human existence, ever since people were put in poverty by a society that sometimes lacks mercy. It is not fair or accurate to say that you should never give money to a panhandler. There are people who would perish without the generosity of strangers. We can not presume to know that they created their own problems and should reap the results. There are plenty of people who became poor largely due to circumstances that weren't under their control.
I have given coins out of my pocket to panhandlers under certain circumstances, and sometimes not, when I felt that it would jeopardize me or someone to do so. I have compiled a guide that works for me concerning when I give a few coins in my pocket or not. Since I rarely carry cash except for these few coins which serve as meter money or candy bar money, I am not in a situation of getting my wallet out.
To begin with, since I am a smoker I get asked for cigarettes a lot. However, many of those who ask me for one look like they could possibly be underage. In these instances, I always refuse. (I do not have to give a reason.) On the other hand, if someone appears close to my age and also does not appear to be an undercover cop, I will often give someone a smoke when asked. For those who believe that smoking is a horrendous evil, just ignore this part of the manuscript.
When someone is holding a sign at a freeway off ramp, I drive by without helping that person. I send that person good thoughts. However, I do not want to create a hazardous situation that could cause a car accident. You are not doing anyone a favor when you block traffic to give to a panhandler, especially when this causes a car accident that could entail someone getting injured.
Is someone appears threatening to me, I do not give help. This is entirely by my perception and does not rely on an attempt at objectivity. If I feel threatened, it is bad for me to help the person who is associated with that feeling, even if it is only in my own mind. I will remain polite to that person and will speak respectfully, but will not give money in return for intimidation. (Of course this idea does not include the IRS.) How do you know if someone is truly threatening you? Often you don't know and must operate by what feels real from your own limited perspective. If someone is exchanging threat for cash, it is not a gift, it is extortion. This is a bully-ism and is a different idea than the threat of a crime being perpetrated, which I cover next.
If it is late at night, if the situation seems scary, or if you think you could be a victim of robbery or violence, then you must do whatever works in that situation. Usually that entails getting some distance as quickly as possible, and doing so without increasing your vulnerability-which getting out your wallet or getting close to a person would do. I was in front of a Macy's at a mall when three gentlemen who appeared to be sporting a tough guy fashion, (you know, the goatees and scarves over the heads) approached me and one of them said, "Give it up." Rather than standing there waiting for them to get closer, I quickly stood from the bench (where I had been reading) and ran into the Macy's so that anything that would happen would be recorded by their security cameras. The three followed me in but then realized they were among Macy's shoppers, and they proceeded to look like idiots, and then they left.
A few years ago, I was in front of a McDonald's and had just bought a couple of hamburgers, when a man begged for help and said that he was starving to death and had problems with his blood sugar. I handed my hamburger to that man. He was quite grateful.
When I am on foot, and in public where everything feels safe, and someone asks for spare change in a respectful way (they do not need to humiliate themselves or beg, they just need to be polite) I will give that person whatever change is in my pocket, which might total less than a dollar, or which could be a couple dollars. If I had more income and if I carried cash more often, I would give more. In addition to the change I am offering, I am giving the message of unconditional love. This does something to better the human condition.

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Obama claims Jesus wants us to tax the rich

Well at least Obama didn’t confuse his “Christian faith” with his Muslim faith. At the National Prayer Breakfast this morning, Hussein Obama claimed in so many words that Jesus would want us to tax the rich or something. The quote was posted at The Blaze.

“When I talk about shared responsibility, it’s because I genuinely believe that in a time when many folks are struggling and at a time when we have enormous deficits, it’s hard for me to ask seniors on a fixed income or young people with student loans or middle-class families who can barely pay the bills to shoulder the burden alone,” Obama said during the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington.
He continued, “And I think to myself, if I’m willing to give something up as somebody who’s been extraordinarily blessed and give up some of the tax breaks that I enjoy, I actually thinks that’s going to make economic sense.”
“But for me as a Christian, it also coincides with Jesus’ teaching that, ‘for unto whom much is given, much shall be required,’” he said.

Yes Jesus, was a hippy if you read the actual words he spoke. Modern day Christians would be spit on by Jesus for being such evil people. Jesus said to render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, he was for spreading the wealth (i.e. redistributing it), and absolutely would be pro-tax increase on the rich.

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Good guy Jesus:

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1) Christianity is diametrically opposed to homosexuality. It is peppered throughout the bible that gays must be killed and that being gay is a sin. God even murdered an entire city of people because they engaged in sodomy once (according to the bible, Re:Sodom and Gomorrah). Women, children, goats and all. If you are christian, you believe gays should be put to death, just like if you are a Muslim you have to believe in jihad and the prophets warmongering ways. Christianity means you hate gays, there is no wiggle room unless you misinterpret the bible, in which case you are going to hell because god made it clear that all gays must be killed.

2) The catholic church should shut it's mouth about all things in general, but particularly in the case of gay/lesbian issues. They are currently tied up in the universes largest sex abuse scandal, because tens of thousands of children were ****ed in the ass by gay pedophile priests. Catholicism is a cult, as bad as Mormonism (and all other religions), and anyone who would support Catholicism despite their blatant abuse of children is a sick, disgusting excuse for a human being.


As always, religious people lack any resemblance of morals and are the absolute bottom dredge of society; pedophiles, murderers, psychopaths. They can justify ****ing a 10 year old boy in the ass as "god's will". There are few things that have been more of a detriment to society than to religious folks. They need to grow up, stop believing in invisible friends, and stop doing sick filthy shit in the name of their sky daddy. To all those believers: Your God is evil, if you believe the shit you read in books than he once murdered every man woman and child on planet earth in a flood and then burned an entire city, turning people into salt, and then went on to rebuke Adam for lusting for knowledge, then put women in their place, told you to murder gays, and condoned slavery. If you follow someone who condones the above, than **** you. If there is a God, and he is the God of the bible, than Satan is 1 million times more benevolent than him, and even if I could know for sure that he existed I would forsake him to his face for being such an evil piece of shit, and fight him off like that one movie where the demigod kills the roman gods because they are evil.

No birth control, government dictating your every move? Christianity cans suck a dick, in fact, make it a giant orgy with every deity that ever existed sucking my dick. **** your gods and **** you.

Don't believe in evolution, think the world was made last Thursday with everything in place? **** you, you're an idiot.








You religious people are all the same, you are against freedom and want your evil sick filthy pedophile God to make the rules, but we'll never allow it

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Renegade nun presents ‘A Catholic case for same-sex marriage’

On Valentine’s Day, a priest and a nun penned an op-ed in The Washington Post entitled, “A Catholic Case for Same-Sex Marriage.”
Sister Jeannine Gramick and Francis DeBernardo of New Ways Ministry in Mt. Rainier, Maryland, wrote, “Many Catholics…understand that lesbian and gay love is as natural as heterosexual love.”
“As Catholics who are involved in lesbian and gay ministry and outreach, we are aware that many people, some of them Catholics, believe that Catholics cannot faithfully disobey the public policies of the church’s hierarchy. But this is not the case,” they wrote. “Like Govs. Andrew Cuomo in New York and Pat Quinn in Illinois…Govs. Martin O’Malley and Christine Gregoire are acting against the strongly expressed opposition of their church’s bishops.”
They argued the acceptance by many Roman Catholics of the homosexual lifestyle should be considered on par with the teachings of the Church. “The Catholic Church is not a democracy, but neither is it a dictatorship. Ideally, our bishops should strive to proclaim the sensus fidelium, the faith as it is understood by the whole church.”
After stating that Scripture and Church tradition offer “little firm reason to oppose marriage” between members of the same sex, they added, “millions of Catholics are arriving at different conclusions rooted deeply in the teachings of our faith…We support marriage equality, and we won’t forget the Catholic legislators and governors who have worked on behalf of justice for lesbian and gay couples.”

(Excerpt) Read more at lifesitenews.com ...

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A.A.A.D.D. - KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills
back on the table and take out the garbage first..

But then I think,since I'm going to be near the mailboxwhen I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.

Forward this message to everyone you know,

because I don't remember who the heck I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

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Obama claims Jesus wants us to tax the rich

Well at least Obama didn’t confuse his “Christian faith” with his Muslim faith. At the National Prayer Breakfast this morning, Hussein Obama claimed in so many words that Jesus would want us to tax the rich or something. The quote was posted at The Blaze.

“When I talk about shared responsibility, it’s because I genuinely believe that in a time when many folks are struggling and at a time when we have enormous deficits, it’s hard for me to ask seniors on a fixed income or young people with student loans or middle-class families who can barely pay the bills to shoulder the burden alone,” Obama said during the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington.
He continued, “And I think to myself, if I’m willing to give something up as somebody who’s been extraordinarily blessed and give up some of the tax breaks that I enjoy, I actually thinks that’s going to make economic sense.”
“But for me as a Christian, it also coincides with Jesus’ teaching that, ‘for unto whom much is given, much shall be required,’” he said.

[Premium Parrots]

bite me.

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Older Men's Scam

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc.
This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.
A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco,
or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going
out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it
couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works;Two nice looking, college-age girls will come over to your car
or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your
windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy
T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they
say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing.
Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen Dec. 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, again on the 17th,20th, 24th,
and the 29th. Also on Jan 1st, 4th, 8th, twice on the 10th, 15th, 21st, 29th & today Feb 5th.
Very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men.
Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar
Store and bought them out in three of their stores.

Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back
and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Wal-Mart.

So please, inform this to all the older men (like PP) that you know and warn them to be on the
lookout for this scam.

(The best time to do this is just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)

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$23M Bond Set For Teacher Accused Of 'Bondage' Pics

LOS ANGELES (CNN) -- Bond was set at $23 million Wednesday for a Los Angeles elementary school teacher who allegedly took bondage photos of more than two dozen students in his classroom -- $1 million for each of the 23 counts he faces of lewd acts on a child.
The 400 photographs collected by investigators include some showing suspected semen-filled spoons at the children's mouths, a sheriff's investigator said.
Mark Berndt, 61, appeared briefly before a Los Angeles judge for his initial court appearance Wednesday morning, represented by a court-appointed public defender.
His next court appearance was set for February 21.
Authorities arrested Berndt at his home Monday, and charged him with the 23 felony counts.
"I feel for those parents and for those babies -- those helpless babies," Wanda Mosley, a resident who lives near Miramonte Elementary School, told CNN affiliate KABC.
The chilling accusations were a stunning betrayal for many parents.
"I'm angry. I'm disgusted. I'm sad," Kimberly Kirklin told the station.
The probe started when a film processor gave investigators "over 40 photographs depicting children in a school classroom, with their eyes blindfolded and mouths covered with tape," a Los Angeles County Sheriff's statement said.

(Excerpt) Read more at wlky.com ...