oh I am having a snus *condescending sneer*

[CzechCzar]

TL, DR: I am going to start using the term "varietal" to describe snus.

[CzechCzar]

It hit me as I was trying to go to sleep a couple of nights ago. Americans don't like snus because they associate oral tobacco with all things dip: spitting, hillbillies, not bathing, marrying your cousin, etc. All we are ever able to say is "it's different... no really, it's different... please come back?"

And the idea hit me over the head like 7000 pounds of bricks: why not try being condescending about it? You know, like "Mnnneaahhhhh I just miiiiight detect in this snus a hint of Vermont oak, married ever so subtly with just a touch of Monarda fistulosa... mmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnEEAAAaaaaahh." It would help to wear oversized glasses and a scarf while doing this. Then, if anybody asks you what it is you're enjoying, just say something like "oh thiiiiiiiis? This is the limited edition, hand-made, individually numbered Islay Whiskey lossnus made by Coonnnniee Aaaanderson. It's divine. Oh, no, I can't giiive you any, mmmmmnnnnnnnnnnneeaaaaaaaaah... You couldn't possibly appreciate the subtleties and intricacies of this snus varietal. Here, have a Skoal, you'll surely appreciate that, MNNNNEEEEEEAHHH." Basically, turn snus into something that is beyond what most common plebeians could ever hope to grasp.

This will turn snus into a luxury good... something only the most sophisticated can understand. The fact that we aren't offering any will pique their curiosity.