A valuable lesson

[The Stig]

I caught my daughter smoking 2 (18 yrs old) years ago and had that "what should I do" moment. My dad caught me smoking when I was 15 and did a combo of "chain smoke a pack in front of him" and a trip to the woodshed before. All it did was make me get better at hiding it. I didn't want to do that to my daughter so, I explained how much money it would cost her in the long run, the whole it will damage your health speech and said "your old enough to make your own desicisions but don't come to me for cigarette money!" In the end, she asked me for an E Cigarette and now only uses them. Yes, she's still getting Nicotine but, I'd rather her get it thru a safer vehicle than with smoking.

IMO Rick, you did what you thought was best, but I agree with lx, he'll probably just get better at hiding it from now on and know that packing both cheeks with Red Man is definitely too much at one time. ;-)

[Mdisch]

I caught my daughter smoking 2 (18 yrs old) years ago and had that "what should I do" moment. My dad caught me smoking when I was 15 and did a combo of "chain smoke a pack in front of him" and a trip to the woodshed before. All it did was make me get better at hiding it. I didn't want to do that to my daughter so, I explained how much money it would cost her in the long run, the whole it will damage your health speech and said "your old enough to make your own desicisions but don't come to me for cigarette money!" In the end, she asked me for an E Cigarette and now only uses them. Yes, she's still getting Nicotine but, I'd rather her get it thru a safer vehicle than with smoking.

IMO Rick, you did what you thought was best, but I agree with lx, he'll probably just get better at hiding it from now on and know that packing both cheeks with Red Man is definitely too much at one time. ;-)

I like this post.

[Snusdog]

So, today I found a half empty/full pouch of Red Man leaf chew, in my 15yr old son's backpack. Rather than flip out, I took the pouch and put it in my back pocket and went out to where I had my son cleaning the garage. We stood and talked for a few minutes, then I pulled the chew out and asked my nephew who was standing there with us, if he wanted a chew. He promptly declined, and then I handed the pouch to my son and said, "well, then...this pouch is for you, and I want you to fill both cheeks, and when you think they're full, stuff some more in there."

He was hesitant to do this, but I took my belt off and said, "it's one or the other". He chose the chew ;-) I had him continue working on the garage, and for a while he was just beebopping around as if he was "the man". I told him that if he took that chew out before I told him he could, I'd bust his ass.

As you all know, this story ended with him stumbling around, glassy eyed and then a bout of vomiting that lasted somewhere around 30 minutes and him crying, saying "Daddy, I'm sorry...I won't touch this stuff again". Then he puked some more. As he layed in his bed with a bucket next to him, dry heaving. I had a long talk with him about addiction, and how you never want to be controlled by a substance. Especially one that he might use just to have some upper classmen think he's cool. I think he's learned a valuable lesson today ;-)

My father never did this for me, and I wish he would have done it.

Rick your post reminded me of when my dad caught me with chew.........there was a long lecture about being a tax payer and parent, having a mortgage, and going to work every day as the prerequisite for chewing...... there was also his standard bit about the war.......how the japs were out working the American........and the way baseball has changed for the worst

Then he took my chew........put it in his back pocket........and chewed it up


I learned from an earlier age...............parenting is all about being fine with duplicity

[whalen]

My My My

That got a bit..........feisty

so let's all take a deep breath.........Lube up...........and get back out there for round two

Trouble maker!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Roo]

Jag and Blue are not trolls dude. They speak their minds. I thought that was the entire point of posting on a forum, to get other people's reactions and opinions on the matter. If a thumbs up is all you were after, Facebook does an annoying job at that.

For my two cents, all I got from the OP is that you gave your kid a choice between getting his ass beat with your belt, or ingesting so much nicotine that he purges his poisoned GI tract until he dry heaves. My own advice, if that is allowed, is to use calm and intelligent dialog next time. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I venture to guess that you also used tobacco at a young age. If I catch my kid doing something that I did when I was young, and especially something that I continue to do as an adult, here's hoping I don't resort to beating her ass or poisoning her to make a point.

PS: I know this was probably the result of past personal beefs between members here, and I don't want to drag myself into. Respect to all 3 of you. I am just being as honest as possible about my thoughts on the matter, and sticking up for jag and Blue, who are long-time contributors to this community, as well as humorous, kind, and friendly people who are down for the same cause as the rest of us: snus appreciation and positive reinforcement of this online community. Calling them trolls for strongly disagreeing with your methods is whack. Rick, you know I've thoroughly enjoyed your presence here since the dress and lipstick days (lol), so I'm not trying to add more beef to this already beefy scenario. Just popping in to say chill the fk out brother And to kill some time at work.

[Roo]

Also, I have to say one more thing. I know my "advice" here is entirely 100% unsolicited but I can't help but share another thought on the matter. Please understand I mean no disrespect by the following:

If you like in Kentucky and you work in the tobacco industry, I personally think that if you entertain the hope that your young son is not going to be a tobacco user, you are largely fooling yourself. Of course it's possible, but strikes me as highly unlikely given your occupation and the history of tobacco in your neck of the woods. With regard to tobacco use, not only does "Dad think it's OK", but also "Dad travels all over the country promoting the use of it and making it easier for Americans to procure". This is of course what he sees. Assuming he respects you, which I don't doubt for a moment, he's going to use this information when he evaluates whether or not to use tobacco. Since you do such an amazing job of promoting the benefits of snus as a relatively (or completely -- depending on your opinion) safe alternative to cigarettes and dip, why not have a discussion with him along the lines of: Look I really think you should take a long time to seriously consider the consequences of using tobacco. Nobody starts using it thinking they will do it for the rest of their lives, but the addictive power of tobacco and nicotine are vastly underestimated by absolutely everyone. You WILL become addicted, and it will cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars in your lifetime, and negatively affect your health with varying degrees of seriousness. I want you to live a long and healthy life, free from addiction. However, if as an adult your decisions lead you to using tobacco regardless of what I am telling you now, then I want to talk to you about the safest way to use it. Then bust out your can of Roda or whatever

Again just a thought. Do with it as you wish. I know I am in no position whatsoever to offer you advice on this matter, being a total stranger and a father of a 12 month old, but fk it, it's a forum and we're all here for each other. Peace.

[squeezyjohn]

It's not my place either to say how anyone behaves on this forum.

But I will say that none of the people arguing here last night have been back to this thread. And that probably means that they don't want to come back to it - which I reckon is probably for the best.

If they've made their minds up - then us lot posting here which might ignite the whole thing again is probably the last thing they want.

[Bigblue1]

careful roo. don't wanna join the troll patrol now.......

[WickedKitchen]

Huh...just read that whole thread. Some funny S. Some bull S too but then again, I'm just about as full of it as you can get so I've got no stones to cast. I will say, however that as a parent you can only do what you think is right at the time. If I have prepared something and was unable to execute it then I could and probably should be criticized but to just have a situation sprung upon me as a parent...you gotta do what you think is right at the time.

I was good enough hiding chew when I was a teen but then again I didn't use it much. My dad couldn't smell so I didn't have to jump through hoops to get the smell off of me when he was around. My mom could smell it but she never confronted me about it. One day my sister found my pack in the battery compartment of my boom box before I got home from wherever I was. My parents asked if they were mine to which I replied "No, I was holding them for a friend." Ha! My father said not to do it but asked if they were pot cigarettes. Huh. My mom asked me if I would like to have one. Of course, I said no and threw them out. I did go without cigarettes for a day or two but that was it. At that point I was only having two or three a day (I was 17) so I might not have actually been addicted, or at least not to the point I am now.

As children, I think most of us inherently want that which we cannot, or are not supposed to have. The benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. hell, even in my addicted mind today the benefits win.

Oh, and as I was growing up, during adolescence my grandparents told me that if I took up smoking I would never be allowed in their house. This was probably 'cos my grandmother's brother-in-law was a chain smoker. Even after the incident...they must have known I had continued...that threat never came to fruition. The only other thing my parents did was mail me something. It was from my dad, 'cos my mom couldn't figure out how to work the computer at the time. he typed a sentence or two and didn't sign it or put a return address on it but he did include a "Dear Abby" article about how bad smoking was. Really? It was never spoken of again.

Even now i don't broadcast it 'cos most people won't even listen to the snus story. My mother accepts it now but at family functions I use a long portion or just stay away from los.

The one piece of advice I will give is to talk to the kids about it. However it goes, just talk to them and let them know it's ok to ask you questions. my father died before I was able to talk about it with him. Maybe I wasn't mature enough then but he never put in the effort either. To this day tobacco is the only thing I wish I could talk to my dad about. well, that and fixing some things around the house. We had a great relationship and he taught me so much. We never talked about addiction though and I wish we had. I just don't think he knew how to have the conversation as he wasn't addicted to anything.

When I did go off the cigs i did it cold-turkey and I had a conversation with my dead father each day to help me through it. It worked for the cigs but Mr. N took a year to figure out how to put on a different costume and fool me. Bastard.

[Frosted]

Nice post Wicked.

[Thunder_Snus]

I see this thread has run its course but perhaps I could offer a little advice, not as a parent but as someone who was caught in your sons situation only about 5 years ago.
I was 14 and had forgotten to flush the toilet after tossing a dip into it. My parents of course had a talk with me and encouraged me to stop.

Looking back its hard to say what really would have made me stop. Addiction really isnt something you can perceive until it finally hits you. You don't know what addiction is until you do decide to stop and realize you cant. Chances are he didn't just decide to snag some redman he probably started doing it with a friend. Is he really going to continue to be friends with him but not partake in chewing?

I dont have a comment on if you handled the situation right or wrong because I'm not a parent so It's hard to say how I would handle such a situation. My parents could have not let me leave the house, searched the house for my stash every day and gone to countless lengths to insure I wasnt chewing but what kind of life is that for your teenage son to live being constantly monitored? At the same time you'd hate to have your son get mouth cancer or be constantly toiling 3-5 bucks every 1-3 days away towards tobacco. It doesnt seem like there is ever a clear cut way to handle a situation like this because ultimately if he wants to use tobacco he will find a way.

I wish you the best of luck however you decide to continue to handle the situation.