I Won At The Casino! Several Contests! As promised.

[John Boy]

Guess 2: $211700

"If you'd had a tin of shoe polish, you could have blackened her up and got away with it," I said to Oscar Pistorius, laughing.

Then I realised that was in bad taste. Why would he have a tin of shoe polish?

[John Boy]

Guess 3: $0 ??

I got run over by a lorry salting the road...."you bastard!!" I shouted, through gritted teeth

[Skell18]

$70,000.00

[Faylool]

$40,000.00

[Paco]

$44,000? I can't figure out how much the money that isn't bundled is...ugh

[rickcharles606]

55,000.00

[Snusdog]

86,000.

I ain't tellen no moe jokes....cause dis shet ain't funny

[Snusdog]

86,000.

I ain't tellen no moe jokes....cause dis shet ain't funny

84,500 is my second guess


I call for a $500 dollar grace range..........within $500 wins.........


In PP talk....that's two feathers and a bill

[Paco]

84,500 is my second guess


I call for a $500 dollar grace range..........within $500 wins.........


In PP talk....that's two feathers and a bill

I can't believe no one has guessed correctly. I'm pretty sure I've narrowed down the stacks (as everyone else has) but the loose bills must not be even.

[jagmanss]

85,300

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years
He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He ties him to a chair. Wh...ile tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

[Snotgifff]

$77,500

[Premium Parrots]

I hereby lift the 5 guess max. Post/guess all you want. But tell a joke now and then. Jags was funnierthenhell.

[Snotgifff]

Good, cause I'm way over 5 ;-)
$96000
What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years your job will still suck.

[jagmanss]

Holy crap! Here it comes.... But not from me.... Wait! For it!

[Snotgifff]

$46250
What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?

Your wife will always blow your bonus!