COMPLETELY off topic, but I hate men.

[Xobeloot]

That is some of the best advice I have seen in a while. So very true.

I know so many people (mostly women, but some men) who just cannot be "happy" unless they are in a relationship. I call these people "monkeys" (A monkey never lets go of one branch until it has another to swing from... all the while, keeping that last branch in sight incase the new branch isnt stable enough). These people are usually so co-dependant that they are happier in a crappy relationship than they are single.


The other extreme to this would be someone like me. I have been single (and content) for so long, I could care less about meeting someone. I dont even try to get that casual sex anymore. You mentioned that there is that "manufactured feelings thing"... The last several casual hookups I have had, turned into nightmares. Endless phonecalls, endless e-mails... I have even had to change my phone number a time or two. Nowadays, I'd rather go out for beers with my friends and just socialize with them than risk making sexytime with another closet psycho.

[Premium Parrots]

quote;I know so many people (mostly women, but some men) who just cannot be "happy" unless they are in a relationship. I call these people "monkeys" (A monkey never lets go of one branch until it has another to swing from... all the while, keeping that last branch in sight incase the new branch isnt stable enough). These people are usually so co-dependant that they are happier in a crappy relationship than they are single;unquote


LMAO thats a great analogy. Sadly its true.
PP

[Zero]

The last several casual hookups I have had, turned into nightmares. Endless phonecalls, endless e-mails... I have even had to change my phone number a time or two. Nowadays, I'd rather go out for beers with my friends and just socialize with them than risk making sexytime with another closet psycho.

Amen. The whole sordid affair reminds me too much of crack addicts and dogs, especially when they get into that neurotic headspace after you feed them a cookie and they waste the next hour of their life scouring the carpet for traces of crumbs in a desperate attempt to recapture that fleeting, drug-like high of scarfing down a fresh marro-bone. Most people just seem incapable of dealing sanely with the chemical cyclone unleashed upon their brains in the mating ritual - men and women alike. I guess that's why we spend so much time chasing after and then running away from each other.

[Xobeloot]

Learn it, love it! This is the only way to have a torrid affair with no aftermath nowadays.

[Soft Morning, City!]

Xobe:

Genius.

And I agree completely. Hook-ups aren't worth the trouble at all. Personally, I always feel worse afterward, more lonely that I felt prior.

I've been single for over a year. It's been very productive in terms of creative endeavors. I've gotten to know myself very well. I'm ready for another relationship, but I'm not looking. If something comes along, hey, great. But if not, I'll live. Sure, it gets lonely sometimes, but loneliness fuels my creativity. Without it, I wouldn't write.

[Zofryer]

Hook-ups aren't worth the trouble at all. Personally, I always feel worse afterward, more lonely that I felt prior.

It depends on how you define "Hook-up". One of my potential "Hook-ups" is an ex-girlfriend I've known for years. We know we suck in a relationship together, but we know we are compatible in other ways. So when she's between boyfriends, I can usually expect a call. She's also a good friend, and sexytime (I really love that term btw) isn't the primary reason for knowing her.

I don't do the bar scene. I grew out of that I think before I turned 21. I'm not attracted to some drunk out of her mind girl trying to go toe to toe with me on topics ranging from reality TV to her. Or maybe from clothes to her. Or her friend's clothes/handbag/dog to her. And that's the name of that game most of the time. I'm attracted to the kind of girl that reads books, has an education, is going places, wouldn't be caught dead in a bar on a friday night, and isn't looking for a "daddy" to take care of everything. If I can't consider a woman an equal, I probably can't consider sexytime. I meet women playing my online game, going to conventions for hobbies, through myspace, at the bookstore, etc.

My huge secret is my killer pickup line: "Hello. What's your name."

Then I follow it up with this killer technique where I mention the thing that got me motivated enough to talk to her in the first place.

"I think you are very pretty, and I see you are reading one of my favorite books."

"I noticed you are wearing a Pixies t-shirt. I just had to talk to ya."

Other keys to my success are:

1) I'm not looking for sex. I'm perfectly happy just getting to know someone because I truly enjoy talking to them. Because I have no ulterior motives, I'm completely confident and it shows.

2) I'm not shy. But I'm also not arrogant.

And I smell nice. And I say funny deadpan things with a straight face.

And generally, women are less concerned with looks than they are with attitude and demeanor. How you carry yourself has more to do with how "sexy" you are to them. And I think it's a good thing to use that same approach as a guy instead of falling all over yourself to get in line to make a fool out of yourself to impress some girl with zero substance that has heard your pickup lines and seen your "type" coming for the past hour.

The End

[Soft Morning, City!]

Zofryer:

I'm shy as hell, but next time I see a girl that I'd like to talk to, I'll keep your killer pickup line in mind. Initiating conversation is half the battle with me.

I'm attracted to the same thing. Intelligence and independence, somebody who can hold her own in deep conversation. That turns me on more than all the mini-skirts in Los Angeles.

[Xobeloot]

iT IS AMAZING THE QUALITY WOMEN WHO PLAY wORLD oF wARCRAFT, ISNT IT?

(damn. capslock owns me yet again... we need a Xobe vs. Capslock scoreboard)

Another place that I have found that is an amazing place to meet quality women/people is at the local dog park.

People don't get dressed to go there, they go w/ their best 4-legged friend(s) and are typically having a no-holds-barred good time. Meet someone there and you immediately have a very genuine shared interest.

[Zofryer]

iT IS AMAZING THE QUALITY WOMEN WHO PLAY wORLD oF wARCRAFT, ISNT IT?

Our guild is actually kinda famous for it on my server. Here is a link to our Girls of GRS forum:


Girls of GRS

[Shrewd]

Man, after reading these posts I guess I just got lucky. Amazing how that happens sometimes. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to "go clubbin'", and how much I hated it. I just met my wife at college, she's an electrical engineer as well (so smarts aren't really an issue). I wish I still remembered my pickup line, because it must have been a good one. I don't think it matters at all actually, as mentioned, it's entirely about demeanour. The craziest/corniest pickup lines would work if you've got the personality for them, but others are just too shy to make those work - or they're trying to use them on the wrong person.

BTW I've had many more women show me interest after I got married, the forbidden fruit angle is definitely real. I'd never act on that, but I do find it amusing. It has made me wonder if all women were crazy in the head, but then I decided the ones that are crazy are the ones flirting with me when I'm clearly wearing a ring - and that still leaves a lot of other non-crazy women out there. If only they knew I had 2 kids and a wife at home, that'd probably send them screaming into the night .

Xobe: I think I've seen the caps lock own you at least 4 times . Must not be a touch-typer eh? I get a lot of crap from people because I actually use the Dvorak layout, so I can touch-type both english/dvorak layouts well (quickly). That's probably why my posts are always novels .

[Zero]

I suppose one could always pretend to be married... never tried that approach, but it just might work :lol:

[yummi4tunekookie]

...After being rejected for the 3rd time in a row, I'm starting to think that God or some other higher power is trying to tell me something. Fine, then. I'll quit my stupid search for a significant other and just learn to be happy single. *looks up and shakes fist at the sky* DOES THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?! :x

Your advice and reasoning are very good and sound, Zof, but I just can't see myself having casual sex with anyone. I've only had sex with one guy, from my last and longest (4 months) relationship. Though my libido rivals, if not surpasses, that of any male, I can't imagine having a ****-buddy or a one-night-stand. Ever. I blame my uber-restrictive, conservative upbringing. I mean, I'm still reeling from having had premarital sex! Laaame, I know.

Xobe's advice about keeping oneself satisfied manually ( :wink: ) is awesome, though it's JUST NOT THE SAME. The lack of any emotional involvement or social grievance is satisfying in itself, though

In any case, there's so much more for me to worry about in my life. Screw men. I really need to focus on school. Really, really, reaaally need to.

And, ick, don't pretend to be married in order to attract others! I've never, ever been more attracted to a guy just because he was married or otherwise taken. Only single men for me!

[Zofryer]

Your advice and reasoning are very good and sound, Zof, but I just can't see myself having casual sex with anyone. I've only had sex with one guy, from my last and longest (4 months) relationship. Though my libido rivals, if not surpasses, that of any male, I can't imagine having a ****-buddy or a one-night-stand. Ever.

You can't be faulted for having good values. I grew up similar. Life wore away at them. I didn't have my personal revelation and current attitudes about being single and casual sex until my mid 20's. Here's to hoping you meet the man of your dreams before you develop a mindset like mine. Not that it's so horrible. : )

If you read my blog, you know what I have going on right now. It was highly unplanned. I wasn't looking for it, or even dreaming about it. That somehow makes it better for some reason.

[Xobeloot]

I just started playing paintball again. It may not cause an orgasm, but It sure does get your rocks off shooting someone in the face.

[KarlvB]

My huge secret is my killer pickup line: "Hello. What's your name."

Then I follow it up with this killer technique where I mention the thing that got me motivated enough to talk to her in the first place.

Zofryer, my friends use a rather different pickup line:

"Hi, my friend over there wants to know if you think I am hot"

Other keys to my success are:

1) I'm not looking for sex. I'm perfectly happy just getting to know someone because I truly enjoy talking to them. Because I have no ulterior motives, I'm completely confident and it shows.

2) I'm not shy. But I'm also not arrogant.

And I smell nice. And I say funny deadpan things with a straight face.

And generally, women are less concerned with looks than they are with attitude and demeanor. How you carry yourself has more to do with how "sexy" you are to them. And I think it's a good thing to use that same approach as a guy instead of falling all over yourself to get in line to make a fool out of yourself to impress some girl with zero substance that has heard your pickup lines and seen your "type" coming for the past hour.

It's the Tao of Steve

1. Be desireless
2. Be excellent
3. Be gone

Which means most people can smell an agenda so if you are only looking for a casual one night stand it will be very apparent. And unless that person wants the same thing you will strike out. So honesty counts. As does being genuinely interested in someone. Or at least hiding your true intentions.

Be excellent. Do something to show you are not a loser and have some skils. I've seen City girls go weak at the knees when a credit analyst walked them through the sub-prime meltdown.....know your audience....

Be gone. We pursue that which retreats.

I would recommend watching the movie The Tao of Steve for a more detailed explanation...

Personally, I don't think there isn't any right or wrong answers. I do believe though that it is important to be able to be single. Only then do you truly know yourself and what you want from a relationship.

My girlfriend (and hopefully future wife) was in the same highschool as I was but it was only 12 years later when we met again by chance that we really hit it off....by then we had both travelled the world, reached a similar level in our careers, realised what is important to us and what we wanted out of life.

In retrospect I would have liked to have run into her earlier and not missed out on 12 years, but then again who says that we would have been a match earlier in our lives?

So to end a rambling post.

Don't sweat it. Learn to enjoy your life and do what you love with your friends. Remember - - Its harder to just pack up and go travelling for a year when you have someone else to think of.

And if you never meet someone then so be it....

I'd rather by happy and single than in a relationship that makes me miserable