I'm going to make a fresh start.

[timholian]

Sadly, I have, and at time still am, just like what you have described. I have even lost a job because of it....

My only advise (I wouldn't take it.. wtf do I know) Play the game. Its hard, and stupid phucks will only make it harder, but you have to play the game when you are not on your home turf. I always felt like if I didn't say something about something being ****ed up, no one would but I found out, its not that they don't see it, its that they don't care. Its really hard to deal with a problem no one else cares about because you just look like the negative nancy. It sucks, but nothing lasts forever.... ebb and flow

[NonServiam]

Nah. If you knew how hard it is to even get out of bed. Monday I was called in the office. They were afraid I was going to hurt someone. They went as far as suggesting doctors and some kind of therapy. If I'm so much as late from break, I'll provablly lose my job. I think changing my point of view and thinking about my actions is a much preferable way to go.

I hope you work at Jet-Puff Marshmallow and not Swords-R-Us Good luck on your spiritual journey. If you reach the destination, then you took the wrong path.

[CultLeaderLettuce]

Let us know how it goes, Atreyu-kun. I've actually lost a job I held for ten years because of the kinda stuff you're describing.

[sgreger1]

I am very dissapointed in this thread. I was hoping this would be a "coming out of the closet" thread. (You know you want to Atreyu-Kun)

[AtreyuKun]

I may want come out, but my wife locked the door.
Nah. I'm secure. If I see an attractive guy, I have no problem saying so. Years ago I said I'd make love to Johnny depp. But I'm married. Guys or girls, I can't break that one.

[danielan]

Nah. I'm secure. If I see an attractive guy, I have no problem saying so.

Yeah, me too. But I've never met an attractive guy.

[PipenSnus]

I was a Nichiren Shoshu Buddhist for about 8 years, a long time ago. While I don't have as positive a view of Soka Gakkai International as Tom (they have severe issues with authoritarianism, IMO), I do think some sort of meditative practice might be helpful to you, AtreyuKun. There are lots of various types of meditation to choose from, and a Google search or even looking through a phone directory can give you some pointers on what's available in your area. Personally, I would suggest you look for some type of meditation school that is relatively dogma-free.

And while I'm not suggesting you see a psychiatrist or psychologist (most are sicker than their patients, although there are a few good ones), finding someone trustworthy to talk to about what's going on in your head can also be helpful. Often just bouncing your ideas off another person can give you a clearer understanding of what's going wrong.

Best of luck, buddy. We're here for support if you need us.

[xrt]

I want a fresh start aswell, pack my stuff and leave. Maybe visit my family in Canada.
Hope things work out.

[PipenSnus]

I think a lot of people are feeling frustrated and tense right now. It's not exactly a happy time to be alive. But there are always good things to be found in life. It's just that, these days, you have to search a lot harder to find them.

[Boston Mike]

Hello AtreyuKen,
I don't know you. So I am not making any judgements. But my best friend is going through the same thing you are. He was fired from his last job because his supervisor was "afraid" of him. Now his new job is in jeopardy.
His family and I believe he has bipolar disorder. There are other symptoms besides the anger and it runs in his family.
He is resisting help and I am very sad for him. It sucks.
Your interest in a new religion rings a bell with me.
There is no harm talking to your doctor.
Like I said...I don't know you, man, and I hope I don't offend. Take care,
Mike.
ps...I have always been interested in Buddhism.

[danielan]

One thing that has helped me at work is focusing on the things I am responsible for.

I used to care about things above me - I find less stress by not doing that any more.

[AtreyuKun]

Hello AtreyuKen,
I don't know you. So I am not making any judgements. But my best friend is going through the same thing you are. He was fired from his last job because his supervisor was "afraid" of him. Now his new job is in jeopardy.
His family and I believe he has bipolar disorder. There are other symptoms besides the anger and it runs in his family.
He is resisting help and I am very sad for him. It sucks.
Your interest in a new religion rings a bell with me.
There is no harm talking to your doctor.
Like I said...I don't know you, man, and I hope I don't offend. Take care,
Mike.
ps...I have always been interested in Buddhism.

None taken at all brother. I still haven't ruled that out. I'm just not too anxious to get pumped full of drugs. I'd like to try something else.
Thanks for the support Chris. Means alot to me. It really does.
I'm trying my best to control only what I can control. That's why I relinquished my managerial job. I want to be as low on the chain as I can.

[tom502]

Pipen-
Oh, I did have issues with SGI, on a few areas, which led me to leave it. But I did not officially "join" it, and still did attend activities without getting sucked into the organization, though I did eventually stop, as it seems all about the organizations, and I did practice as unaffiliated for a while, and while I am not now, I do sometimes think about starting again, as I did/do feel the practice has merit.

[PipenSnus]

Pipen-
Oh, I did have issues with SGI, on a few areas, which led me to leave it. But I did not officially "join" it, and still did attend activities without getting sucked into the organization, though I did eventually stop, as it seems all about the organizations, and I did practice as unaffiliated for a while, and while I am not now, I do sometimes think about starting again, as I did/do feel the practice has merit.

Oh, I agree, the practice has merit. I learned a lot during my time with NSA (as it was known back then). But the organizational problems were a continual turn-off, and drove me away, too. However, I still derive a lot of benefit from the Buddhist point of view on most issues, and strive to live mindfully.

As I mentioned in another post, I'm still very interested in spiritual practice, but I've given up on any kind of religious or spiritual organization, and am extremely skeptical of any sort of formal doctrine. The only true spiritual path, IMO, is the one that is unique to each individual. Group practice always devolves into the same mammalian politicking, no matter the aims of the group. Just human nature, I guess.

[Mr. Snuffleupagus]

I feel for you. I have some pretty serious problems as well, and don't want to get a diagnosis. I don't want to get on crazy drugs either. I hope you find peace.