id rather have had my head dunked in a sink than get time out or a spanking.
the hammer time hamster is worse then dunking someones head in a sink imo.
its funny, spanking is ok but dunking someones head in water is abusive. welcome to the american mindset. you can beat your kid as long as you dont leave visible marks or break the skin but a little water in the face gets your child taken away. he played off of her fear to teach her something thats like putting on a monster mask and chasing a child that is scared of monsters and telling them the only way to keep the moster away is to get it right.
which one makes more sense? spanking a kid over a bad grade or playing off a kids fear of water.
EDIT: throw some apples in the sink next time and say you're getting ready for carnival time. seriously people have done worse shit with a belt than this and get to keep their kids.
I'm with Mike. Threats don't work. In fact the best method I've found was to tell them that "They won't be happy if they don't heed my warning".
my philosophy is simple: I refrain from telling them what the punishment will be if they break the rule this way they don't know what's coming. If I threaten them then that empowers them with a choice with what's worse for them (or better in their minds). My wife threatens and it frustrates the crap out of me because she struggles with them. I have to say things usually only once. If we're both present sometimes I have to say it twice but so far they know I'm serious. I'm not big on spankings and certainly wouldn't dunk them in water. Follow through is imperative IMO.
I learned that from my grandfather. My parents threatened me and I did what I wanted. My dad did use his belt on my on occasion but now I'm sure I deserved it. My grandfather just administered punishment. I think that he had to do it twice in my life. I obviously didn't get the message the first time. He never raised his voice to us. He taught us more than most people and we had more respect for him that most, also. Even into my late twenties he would just have to whisper and it would be deafening. Displeasing someone whom you severely respect is terrible, I think.
With all that being said I have two girls and I have yet to experience what boys will do to them. I haven't a clue how I'm going to deal with the teen years but hopefully I'm laying the correct groundwork now. Fingers crossed.
I should also state that encouraging good behavior choices is necessary as well and I do reward them for those good choices unexpectedly. It is true that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Hell, while I'm onto the cliches - Don't worry about leading a horse to water and making him drink...it's far easier to just make him thirsty. It works wonders.
99% of the time, my daughter is a little angel these days (this was not always the case, but 5 seems to be a good age for her).
And on all but the rarest occasions, a stern look is all that's required to put a stop to any unacceptable behavior. That said, if it doesn't do the trick, revoking privileges always works -- which usually means turning off her computer.
This is an unusually well-behaved little girl, though. I can't remember the last time she persisted in misbehaving after being asked to stop. The only exception is that she gets whiny from time to time, which is easily addressed by telling her that if she's going to use that tone she has to be in a different room so no one else has to hear it
I was apparently a very easy child, too, although my parents did spank me a few times when I was little. I remember every single spanking, I'll say that -- not with regret at what I did that led to being spanked but with indignation that no one made it clear I was doing something I shouldn't have been and given me a chance to not repeat the behavior!
I'm father of twins ( a boy and a girl) aged 5 yrs, and when behave badly i dont allow them to watch cartoons or play computer, or going to play with friends, it seems to work...but there's one thing i ALWAYS ask them "why are you being punished?" that way they internalize the reason for their punishment, if they don't understand it there's no point in take their previleges away.
And i praise them when their behaviour is appropriate
I grew up getting caned accross the palms of my hands by teachers if i acted up in class. My parents spanked me ( I deserved it).
Now a days, If you spank your kids, your physically abusing them. If you put them in time out, your psychologically abusing them.
Well I spank my kids and put them in time out depending on what they did. I guess I'm ruining them. I just refuse to look back in 20 years and wonder why they were shot by a cop while robbing a bank.
Parents that let their kids get away with murder are raising adults that have no self disicpline.
id rather have had my head dunked in a sink than get time out or a spanking.
the hammer time hamster is worse then dunking someones head in a sink imo.
its funny, spanking is ok but dunking someones head in water is abusive. welcome to the american mindset. you can beat your kid as long as you dont leave visible marks or break the skin but a little water in the face gets your child taken away. he played off of her fear to teach her something thats like putting on a monster mask and chasing a child that is scared of monsters and telling them the only way to keep the moster away is to get it right.
which one makes more sense? spanking a kid over a bad grade or playing off a kids fear of water.
EDIT: throw some apples in the sink next time and say you're getting ready for carnival time. seriously people have done worse shit with a belt than this and get to keep their kids.
This is why I love forums, all sorts of viewpoints! Your post made me think of infant swimming lessons. The swimming lessons consist of dunking the entire infant under water, SO, couldn't that be considered as abuse???
I still think it is wrong to dunk anyone's head under water because I think it's cruel! BUT - this opinion comes from my own fear of water & drowning.
Both of my daughters disliked getting water in their faces. While one of them was in a swimming class I was wading in the lake talking to one of the other parents and I commented that her daughter was very comfortable going underwater. She replied with the fact that she never kept the water from going in her kids eyes when she washed them (right from infancy). She thought that's what did it. I, on the other hand, kept the water from going in their eyes. There's probably something to that.
Spray bottle + water + Capsaicin extract...nuff said.
Im jus playin. My 5 year old, just seeing me mad is enough to bring her to tears. Shes easy. The weak one she is. My 13 year old on the other hand is a different story. NOTHING works on that kid. Grounding, scolding, taking things away, NOTHING. Teenagers. :roll:
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