Wtf am I doing?

[Snusophile]

Well folks, here comes something out of left field.

I'm a 31 year old high school teacher, working on my masters degree, and..I want to join the Army. I've been unhappy forever but I've never been this unhappy. I have a good career, a loving wife, but I've always felt like I'm missing something. It's taken a lot of soul searching to come to this conclusion, but I have this feeling like I belong there. It wouldn't be my first venture into military life, but it certainly would be a hell of a lot different than anything I've experienced. I would be taking a massive cut in pay, while taking in massive benefits and, of course, risks. When I was a teenager it was my dream to join up. We didn't have any wars to fight, so I figured I'd go to school instead. I was part of the high school Air Force ROTC, and eventually university Army ROTC and Civil Air Patrol, plus the Coast Guard Auxiliary but it never really satisfied me. I'm not sure if my thoughts at this time are really genuine, so I've decided to teach another year and really think it through. If I still feel this way by then, though, I guess it was meant to be. At my age the Army is the only branch that will accept me, and that's fine with me, as long as I don't grow old and have nothing worthwhile to say. I have my reservations about what we're fighting for right now, but I'm driven to do something--anything, to fill the void I've felt for 13+ years.

Sooo, what the hell. Give me your input and feedback. Say anything you want to say. I'm listening. I know we have a lot of current members and vets on this board. My dad served in Vietnam, and he never really said much about so I'm not getting any advice from him.

[lxskllr]

As long as the pay cut won't be too big a strain, I think it's a great idea. All the money in the world won't buy happiness. Having a job you enjoy, is worth much more. Also, you can always get back into teaching. Time's running out on a military career.

[daruckis]

interesting choice. mad props for wanting to leave your comfort zone to pursue a dream. thats really cool man.

[Snusophile]

As for monetary concerns, my wife will be well taken care of. We have no children and at this time don't have much plans for them. I don't expect to make a career, I just want to serve a short contract and get back to teaching. I know we're in a time of war and contracts can be extended without consent, but I'd still have time to get back to what I'm doing now. Having a degree would send me to officer training school, and I'd be commissioned as a 2nd Lieutenant which leads to more comfortable pay and benefits, and at that rank I'd be doing more than pushing papers and ordering 3,000 gallons of Mop-N-Glo (haha, anyone get it?)

[Jason]

Go for it. I had a lot of fun in the military. Going in as an officer is even better; if I had stayed in, that's probably what I would have shot for.

[zmanzero]

bud, do what will make you at peace with yourself. make sure your partner (wife) is on board with it. my nephew was in iraq, came home, married, had a baby. he's going to afghanistan soon. just do what gives you peace. you're young Snusophile, that's when you do what fashions your life. you'll see a bunch of the world if you decide to do what you brought up.

happiness is a relative thing my friend. let me throw a spitball out here - i've been lonely my whole life because i am different. hey, it's kind of like my fate. i accept it. see, i can be surrounded by friends and still be lonely because it's all in my head. i think fast, god made me born that way. i accept it. it's how i get to create and stuff.

look at your unhappiness and you'll look into yourself, sometimes you can see why you're here in life.

k. enough with the philosophical bs. do what will make you at peace with yourself.

[Snusophile]

Thanks guys, for all the responses. Zmanzero, yes, my wife has agreed to support me in my endeavors but not until we had a very long talk. I would take a bullet for her and certainly wouldn't do this if she didn't agree with it. I still have committed to another year of teaching and I'd like to finish my degree (I'm very close), so my mind could change, but all in all thanks for all the support and I look forward to hearing more suggestions or answers.

[Snusdog]

Snuso I am reminded of a quote from of all places a Jane Austin book-

A father is talking about his son whose wild ways have brought him close to death. The father says (my paraphrase), “When he was a boy he would play like he was a knight. He would come to me and ask ‘Father give me a quest’. All he wanted was a noble quest. But I never gave him one”.


I think far too often today we lack a noble quest. We have mistaken it for success

[Roo]

Follow your dreams Snusophile. You can't deny yourself longing for a very specific calling, as long as you believe in what you are doing. I won't say much more than that, but leave you with an entertaining email I got today from one of my best buddies in Afghanistan (read it it's a good one):

So I finished my last mission yesterday. It was to Jaji Maidan, the Switzerland of Southeast Afghanistan. If you ever get the chance, go. It's a mountainous little shangri-la well-guarded by the Jaji tribe, peaceful, and very scenic, overlooking the Khost bowl on one side and Waziristan on the other. The only problem is it lays on the other side of the most violent dumps in Regional Command East. Coming back, we saw a trip-wire across the road and stopped just short of it, thank God. Called it up to EOD (explosive ordinance disposal), and waited. And waited, and waited. It's insanely hot and muggy here, by way of back-story. So after three and a half hours, a lone goat wanders up. Passing up the MRAP line, it approached the trip-wire. We had a quick discussion about hopping out and shooing away the goat, but after three and a half hours in a metal box in 110 degree heat, empathy is not a strong-point. So we just backed up a little bit, and wished the goat well. For half an hour it grazed near the wire, getting as close as six inches, before backing off again. We talked about shooting it so that it fell on the wire, but mustering my last vestiges of sensitivity I put the kibosh on that. There were locals watching. I did not, however, discourage the men from doing their best dog and hyena imitations, in order to frighten our perspective martyr into the wire. Its every movement was called up on the net.

"A meter."

"Half a foot"

"Goddamn meter again"

"Six inches! Six inches!"

And then BOOM. As if raptured, the goat, our savior, simply disappeared. No meat shower, no pink mist, no nothing. Simply called up to God (or "Baaaa' Allah" as a certain colonel joked). And the convoy moved forward (to the next IED). I think that might have been the high-point of my tour.

Anyway, I'm almost out of here. I hope to see you all soon. Stay well.

[daruckis]

awesome story. let him know i enjoyed it. i know in my heart of hearts he lives to entertain me.

[tom502]

I would recommend joining the Air Force or Navy. With a wife and all, I would not want to be sent in some ground battle. I was in the Navy. I was really going to join the French Foreign Legion, but changed my mind. But military life does not sit well with everyone. My Navy adventure wasn't all that good. Actually the basic training was my favorite part.

[sagedil]

I wanted to do the same thing, but was just too old.

Go for it, you live once, don't have regrets.

But....Is your wife supportive. this is HUGE for her too, so she needs to be behind you 100%.

[dEFinitionofEPIC]

This response is a little different than the others....

I don't see how going and putting your life in danger to fight in a misguided war will make you any happier.

War is hell. I don't see how coming back with PTSD is going to make you feel more fullfilled once you get home.

Life is 95% attitude. There are many people out there who would do anything to have the life you have. Maybe you could just try to see things a little differently.

If you feel a void inside you I doubt you can make it go away by changing your external environment... You have to find peace within yourself.

But that's just my honest opinion. I wish you the best...

[tom502]

Maybe taking up a sport or hobby, or joining some social club would help. Keeping busy is key. I have my band that helps keep me going, and other hobbies like snus.

[Snusophile]

I would recommend joining the Air Force or Navy. With a wife and all, I would not want to be sent in some ground battle. I was in the Navy. I was really going to join the French Foreign Legion, but changed my mind. But military life does not sit well with everyone. My Navy adventure wasn't all that good. Actually the basic training was my favorite part.

I cannot enlist in those branches because the age cutoff is 27, whereas the Army cutoff is 42.