Why is it wrong to wish bad things on people?

[Fazer]

That's all very well if you're stressed or depressed about it.
Personally, I'm not. I just accept that the world is full of dickheads and wish them short lives.

+ 1

That sounds about right

[Frosted]

Nothing really happened sgreger. Just that you see the same assholes day in and day out, saying the same shit all the time. I'm sure you know how it is. Everytime they open their fat mouths, you just want to go to work on them with a Phillips head screwdriver.
I'm a little on edge right now. My dad is having a heart bypass as I type. Just have a short fuse right now I guess.
Got to remember to breathe.

That is my life right now.

However GN relieved that for me tonight. I've met some really very nice people and enjoyed their company.

[Ainkor]

I went through a particularly hard time at work about 10 years ago where I was getting pissed at every stupid question idiot people asked and here is how I got out of that funk. It's my own special 3 step program to a smile at idiots:

If it's a woman:

1. While they are being an asshole, ponder over the question if they spit or swallow
2. If that doesn't work try to guess if they take it up the pooper
3. If your still not smiling try and imagine them screaming at their sex partner to f&*m me harder and spank me

If it's a guy:

1. Try to analyze their behavior. 9 times out of 10 I came to the conclusion that their wife/girlfriend/lover/man friend/pool boy doesn't make them happy
2. Imagine what kind of porn they favor. This can be a dangerous thing though. There was this one dude who I swear was into midget gay man on man porn based on the "Ainkor Method of Porn Pursuation Detection"
3. Feel sympathy for them as their problem is a lack of sexual function. That's the only thing I could think of that would really piss someone off at the world.

999 times out of 1000 I left the conversation smiling, even if they were a complete outrageous asshole. I would secretly smile when everyone was so impressed with my ability to deal with extremely rude folks. I didn't want to go to that dark place with everyone as I'm sure I would get drug right down to their level.

[nicodude]

I don't personally see anything wrong with an occasional wish or desire to see something negative happen to a bad person, so long as you don't dwell on it. If your walking down the street and see some guy being an asshole, there is nothing wrong with thinking to yourself, "man I wish that POS would get run over by a bus", that is normal and a healthy way to work past your anger. It only becomes troublesome if you continue to think about it after the immediate situation has past.

Now its a whole different story if it is involving a more personal issue, like someone that has hurt or caused trouble for you or someone you care about, then it is understandable to continue to dwell on the thought, but if it is something that really upsets you it is best to get it out of your mind if you can, because if you let the hatred overtake you it grows like a wildfire, and can come to a point where you realize wishing harm on them isn't making it happen, and you decide to take things into your own hands.

Thoughts and anger are fine, but hatred will cloud your judgement and things can get out of hand very quickly, don't start the fire unless your ready to burn down the forest.

[CoderGuy]

There's an app for that : http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/i-hat...33400457?mt=8#

Ainkor, you're right:

9 times out of 10 I came to the conclusion that their wife/girlfriend/lover/man friend/pool boy doesn't make them happy

If one of them don't do it for you, there's no pleasing you!

[Snusdog]

This is way out there I know.........but its late................so here goes

Imagine that we sought justice rather than revenge.

Unfortunately in our day we have lost the basic meaning of justice.................we think of courtrooms..........legal proceedures.............and due punishment (all the very things that we will then turn as say have made a mockery of Justice)

But at its root ......................what justice means.................. is to be in a just .....................or right standing..................that is, it means to be in a just or right or healthy relationship (one where what is due .............is given..............and received)

We see something of this notion lingering about in our own day in age.................the one who has served justice, who has paid his debt to society.......... reenters that society........i.e regains a right standing in that society.

The result of all this for our discussion is that a focus on justice does three things that mere ill will or a simple method of coping with the issue cannot:

1) Justice does not deny or down play the reality of the wrong suffered. To restore a right relation we must have a right assessment of the problem (truth then and not imagined porn preferences..................... are the first order of the day)

2) Justice does not wish harm but correction. This does not mean that the restoration of a right relation will not be costly or painful to the offender. Nor does it mean that the restoration will always be embraced or accepted by that offender. There are still tragic and self-destructive consequences to our choices regardless of how much we wish to deny it.

3) Since correction and restoration are the goal (and not vengeance) justice allows for mercy as part of the process. However, mercy is not the anemic modern day version of simply turning a blind eye to the wrong and being nice........but rather mercy is a deep confrontation of the wrong together with a willingness to assist the healing. Mercy takes into account the factors that led up to the wrong.........not to excuse the problem.........but to better overcome it

But this is deep magic...............and not many can bare it..............even less will tolerate it

[Ainkor]

This is way out there I know.........but its late................so here goes

Imagine that we sought justice rather than revenge.

Unfortunately in our day we have lost the basic meaning of justice.................we think of courtrooms..........legal proceedures.............and due punishment (all the very things that we will then turn as say have made a mockery of Justice)

But at its root ......................what justice means.................. is to be in a just .....................or right standing..................that is, it means to be in a just or right or healthy relationship (one where what is due .............is given..............and received)

We see something of this notion lingering about in our own day in age.................the one who has served justice, who has paid his debt to society.......... reenters that society........i.e regains a right standing in that society.

The result of all this for our discussion is that a focus on justice does three things that mere ill will or a simple method of coping with the issue cannot:

1) Justice does not deny or down play the reality of the wrong suffered. To restore a right relation we must have a right assessment of the problem (truth then and not imagined porn preferences..................... are the first order of the day)

2) Justice does not wish harm but correction. This does not mean that the restoration of a right relation will not be costly or painful to the offender. Nor does it mean that the restoration will always be embraced or accepted by that offender. There are still tragic and self-destructive consequences to our choices regardless of how much we wish to deny it.

3) Since correction and restoration are the goal (and not vengeance) justice allows for mercy as part of the process. However, mercy is not the anemic modern day version of simply turning a blind eye to the wrong and being nice........but rather mercy is a deep confrontation of the wrong together with a willingness to assist the healing. Mercy takes into account the factors that led up to the wrong.........not to excuse the problem.........but to better overcome it

But this is deep magic...............and not many can bare it..............even less will tolerate it

A lot of wisdom in that post dog. I see it like this, if I am dealing with an out of control customer, there is no winner no matter how right either one of us are.

When it comes to boss/employee relationships and personal relationships, you hit it right on the head. When dealing with a situation the only way to truly deal with the situation is to go at it head on and resolve the damn issue. I hate it when people don't or aren't willing to say what they feel and keep it to themselves. The only resolution to a problem IMO is to acknowledge it, accept it, make amends (or punishment if required) and move on.

You said something interesting about the concept of the "wronger" reentering society and I think that hits on a more profound issue with the "justice" system as it stands today. So many people look at things like prison as a punishment instead of as a way to reform or actually help a person change so that when the days comes, they are able to reenter society. Recidivism rates as of 2008 for the US were at 67.5%. This obviously shows that almost no attempt is made at actually turning criminals into viable members of society.

Here is a page with a bit of info about it:
http://releasedandrestored.org/statistics.html

[EricHill78]

[lxskllr]

We don't have a justice system, only a legal system. I've made it a point over the last bunch of years to be accurate with the usage of the terminology.

[Owens187]

2. Imagine what kind of porn they favor. This can be a dangerous thing though. There was this one dude who I swear was into midget gay man on man porn based on the "Ainkor Method of Porn Pursuation Detection"
.

ROFLMAO!! I just blew water all over the keyboard....

[RobsanX]

There' a lot I could say about this topic, because I've done it both ways. I used to harbor a lot of anger, and I'll will. I was rude and sarcastic, and could be a regular jerk.

I try my best not to do that anymore, and I feel a lot better.

[Snusdog]

Thanks guys. I do appreciate it. I derailed my own thread. I'm sure he'll be fine, but it's really scary to have our old man cut open. After my wife and Vegan's dad last year, it's just too phucking much for me without getting ornery.

AK,

I hope your dad is doing well.................know our thought and prayer are with you both.....................please keep us posted

[Snusdog]

A lot of wisdom in that post dog. I see it like this, if I am dealing with an out of control customer, there is no winner no matter how right either one of us are.

When it comes to boss/employee relationships and personal relationships, you hit it right on the head. When dealing with a situation the only way to truly deal with the situation is to go at it head on and resolve the damn issue. I hate it when people don't or aren't willing to say what they feel and keep it to themselves. The only resolution to a problem IMO is to acknowledge it, accept it, make amends (or punishment if required) and move on.

You said something interesting about the concept of the "wronger" reentering society and I think that hits on a more profound issue with the "justice" system as it stands today. So many people look at things like prison as a punishment instead of as a way to reform or actually help a person change so that when the days comes, they are able to reenter society. Recidivism rates as of 2008 for the US were at 67.5%. This obviously shows that almost no attempt is made at actually turning criminals into viable members of society.

Here is a page with a bit of info about it:
http://releasedandrestored.org/statistics.html

Very well put my friend

and

We don't have a justice system, only a legal system. I've made it a point over the last bunch of years to be accurate with the usage of the terminology.

so true

[LawOfficeGirl82]

If your walking down the street and see some guy being an asshole, there is nothing wrong with thinking to yourself, "man I wish that POS would get run over by a bus", that is normal and a healthy way to work past your anger.

Thanks, I feel validated in my daily rush hour hatred-full rage.
however, i must say in Nashville yesterday a man got shot at 2x, once almost hitting his 1yo in the face because of road rage. my husband always says that will be me one day. i hope not. i do tend to yell, extend hand expressions and wish people bad everyday from 7-8 and 5-6, otherwise, im a pretty smiley girl. =0)

xo,

LOG

BTW, AtreyuKun, get well and best wishes to your dad and family

[AtreyuKun]

Thanks guys. I just sat with my pop for a bit, and although he looks like hell, I'm impressed with how well he looks after the magnitude of what he just went through.
Ill you, just walking the halls of a hospital and seeing the old man like that, you see how fragile we are. It's hard to feel hate or anger being so humbled like that.