How to convince Fiance that snuff isn't so bad...

[Toque Snuff]

LaZer,

If you've had 24 years of marriage why would you want a girl friend?

Keep your pleasures and drop the girlfriend ;<)

[LaZeR]

LaZer,

If you've had 24 years of marriage why would you want a girl friend?

Keep your pleasures and drop the girlfriend ;<)

Uhmmm. My hand only works for so long plus I get lonely.

Anyhoo my New Years resolution is to quite posting in this thread and to just say F... it.

[Toque Snuff]

LaZer,

Where do you get you smileys? I haven't laughed so much in ages.

Roderick

[LaZeR]

LaZer,

Where do you get you smileys? I haven't laughed so much in ages.

Roderick

I just google for them. Keywords: Smilies, Emoticons, insert X subject here.... ect...

[NicotineRush]

Although you probably will never get them to 'see the light', you might have them read this:

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2009/11/prweb3138264.htm

Tom

[LaZeR]

Although you probably will never get them to 'see the light', you might have them read this:

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2009/11/prweb3138264.htm

Tom

Tom, Thank you for that. :wink:

[LaZeR]

Things got ugly last night. I made the mistake of taking some snuff between cleaning the snow off my car when leaving work enroute to my fiances. Needless to say I ended up with some brown apparently crusted on the inside of my nose and more visable than usual due to being in and out of the cold and guess my nose naturally running a little.

She got the Q-Tips out and seemed to make a game of me letting her 'do her thing' in cleaning the end of my nostrils out. I protested a bit but finally let her at it. She thought by showing me the brown that would be enough to turn me on snuff (like I've never seen it before). :roll: Anyhoo, the conversation proceeded to me making comment jokingly about snuff balls being more pleasant than plain boogers which just put her over the edge. The conversation then moved into her room with door shut and the line to me: "Must commit to no longer having/using nasal snuff before our marriage"... I wouldn't bend on this so ended up leaving with the ring in my hand.

Later in the eve, we talked on the phone and realizing I didn't want to look back on giving up someone I am in love with over this, made a promise to use up what snuff I have and be done with it before the wedding date (which hasn't been set yet). I also thanked her for putting up with my "Snus" which to give her credit, she has come around to accepting at least for now.

I still have my problems with this. Hopefully we can work them out as they are a bit more complex than the simple notion of giving up the snuff.

Fire away the comments. I know I'm asking for it by posting this. :?

[sagedil]

I'm not sure what to say my friend.

I guess I will just ask you this one question. Is tobacco the ONLY time she EVER turns into this and plays these control games. If it is, then fine. I too would probably just say that she is worth more than the tobacco and choose her too. Love would win over every time.

BUT......

If she has these type of control issues in ANY other area of your life as well. Then buddy, you really have some serious soul searching to do. I know you love her. And I know how hard it is the 2nd time. We are both at that same point in our lives LaZeR. My ex left me after 18 years together. So I know how hard it all is. But your fiance really seems to have some very inappropriate control issues. And that will only get worse with time. She is threatening to call off the wedding if you don't do it HER way.

So again. If the tobacco is the ONLY time that manifests itself, I would give in. If it manifests itself anywhere else as well. My friend, I would just walk.

You asked for comments, those are mine. As hard as they were for me to write.

[Veganpunk]

'Loads cannon..'

Anyway, that's messed up. What are you going to do if when you do get married and she says allright, no more snus. Marriage/relationships are about comprise. You're giving her a terrible power. My best friend lives in Pensacola (no not you Mojo! ) and my wife hates him and will not go with me to his house. So I go alone. She doesn't want me to, but we compromise. I don't go over there as nearly as much as I used to, and I get no complaining when I do decide to go. This all of nothing attitude is just going to make you unhappy in the end.

[tom502]

Oh man, I laughed at the end of this.

I don't know, everyone is in their own situation and has to deal or live with it as they feel best.

It seems like a control issue to me. I think if you stay with it, you will have to submit to being controlled alot.

I don't have any advice, other than do what you think is best, for you. Marriage is, or should be, a life commitment. Snuff may not be a bid deal to not do, but in my view, it's not about the snuff, it's about wanting to control or change you, and not let you do what you want.

I could understand if you were smoking meth off a can, and shooting up heroin. But sniffing some legal powdered tobacco....

[lxskllr]

I'm with Sage on this, and I'd take it a bit farther. Even if this were the only issue now, I'd have SEVERE reservations about spending the weekend, much less the rest of my life with someone like that. There WILL be more issues in the future, you just haven't hit on them yet. I'd give it some serious thought. Some decisions aren't easy, but sooner is better than later most of the time....

[LaZeR]

Thanks for the comments. They lean exactly how I am feeling about this. Yes, she has made some attempts to or at least has come across as controlling regarding other things but never this stern and decided. And yea the snuff is something I can give up if that is all it is about which is what she is telling me but yes what she is NOW telling me. As hard as this has been to give in, I really had to search my own soul and to face what is more important, a given type of tobacco OR her and I because that is the sole and only thing where a wall has become between us here and now. I give her credit for coming around with me about my snus usage and even to the point on not being pissed or disgusted if I happen to kiss her with one it. That in itself is the one thing sticking in my head to give her credit and to give in on this 'snuff' issue. If she is giving me that then maybe it's only fair for me to allow her to take something else. And honestly when we met, my tobacco usage was at a whole different level being a copenhagen dipper with spit cups and all. She has been the one to give me the inspiration in the first place to leave that behind and which ultimately led me to snus.

I do have a problem with someone trying to control me if that is what it is about so hopefully in short time will tell. I do love her and respect her. For me giving up nasal snuff will be just giving up something I enjoy but giving up on her over this I'm afraid will really stick hard with me and I won't be a happy person for quite some time with especially myself.

I just wish she could give me some reasons or points other than, "I think it's stupid" or "I just don't like it". I have tried all the BS with the articles comparing the various forms of tobaccos and the corresponding health issues. This always just gets the argument more heated with things said to me like, "Is that all you spend your time doing....researching online, ect...." and that "No tobacco is good for you...".

[RedMacGregor]

my wife is ok with pipes & cigars, but hates snus... go figure..

once upon a time, many years ago when i was way too young, i gave a young lass an engagement ring. I'm a fairly mellow fellow, don't get sucked into needless drama or fights. The gal figured out she could really get to me by throwing the ring at me.

3rd time, i kept it. I still miss her and her natural D-cups and the flexibility 18 years of ballet graced her with, but am SOO much happier not having to deal with the CRAZY

[tom502]

Make her sign a paper saying you will agree to not use nasal snuff, but she must accept and not ever complain of your snus use.

[LaZeR]

Make her sign a paper saying you will agree to not use nasal snuff, but she must accept and not ever complain of your snus use.

In all seriousness I think I will do this very thing before walking down the isle. Thanks. :wink: