How to convince Fiance that snuff isn't so bad...

[tom502]

I don't tell my wife what to do, because I don't expect her to tell me what to do. Unless I was doing something illegal, or was a drunk and falling down, or breaking things, or beating her, then it would be valid. But I'm an adult, and I use a legal item that does not inhinge on her, and it's not breaking the bank or anything. This kinda reminds me of my buddy, who was so p-whipped, we'd have to go hide to drink some beer(well, he did), she even followed us one day, and he ran to her car begging forgiveness. No, it's up to you, but you have to stand your ground, and say, "I am an adult, I like snus and snuff, I will use it when I choose". If she can't accept that, then I think it's easy to predict an unhappy controlling future.

[LaZeR]

Just as a side note/reminder to some of you in regards to your comments please understand that during the original argument and so far to date, I have stood my ground in not giving in to just giving up on the snuff. A day long disagreement over the issue could have ended at the time with me merely agreeing to throw my stash away and not order any more, however I did neither. I held my ground based more on the principle rather than the desire to do snuff even though I am finding it enjoyable. I just wasn't going to be told to stop something with no merit of basis other than one's opinion.

In the end I just went home on this given day after dropping her off at work, popped a Xanax and crashed for the remainder of this past Saturday and then caught hell for not answering my phone(s) as I was completely knocked out for the best part of the day. ops:

So anyhoo, can I please have my "brass balls" award now and quit being labeled as "pussy-whipped". Again, my intentions of bringing this personal matter into the open forum was to gain opinions on whether I was out of line or not in holding my grounds on this along with pointing out that all so common public attitude towards tobacco and seeking some helpful tips in order to enlighten her.

Can I has a cookie nao?

[tom502]

I hope my comments were not too critical to be offensive, I did not mean them to be. We all have our own lives, and situations. I think the thread turned a bit, as it seemed to be not so much about information and convining to "get approval" or even acceptance, then to be about a dominant/control issue. I mean, would any amount of scientific literature really make a difference? I think one just has to accept one's ways, within reason of course, and respect the other's choices, within reason of course. Wish you the best. She may come around. And maybe baby steps might be the way, different relationships are different.

[LaZeR]

I hope my comments were not too critical to be offensive, I did not mean them to be. We all have our own lives, and situations. I think the thread turned a bit, as it seemed to be not so much about information and convining to "get approval" or even acceptance, then to be about a dominant/control issue. I mean, would any amount of scientific literature really make a difference? I think one just has to accept one's ways, within reason of course, and respect the other's choices, within reason of course. Wish you the best. She may come around. And maybe baby steps might be the way, different relationships are different.

:lol: Not at all offended. Hell I asked for it bringing something like this in here. I just felt a need to remind some of the folks here that I did not give in. Did I compromise? Hell yea, beings I agreed not to carry my snuff or bullets around or do it in her presence. Call that puss-whipped if you like but I do try to respect a person's feelings within reason. :wink:

/Carry on folks. I'm still gaining both knowledge and entertainment with this one. :lol:

[sagedil]

Just as a side note/reminder to some of you in regards to your comments please understand that during the original argument and so far to date, I have stood my ground in not giving in to just giving up on the snuff. A day long disagreement over the issue could have ended at the time with me merely agreeing to throw my stash away and not order any more, however I did neither. I held my ground based more on the principle rather than the desire to do snuff even though I am finding it enjoyable. I just wasn't going to be told to stop something with no merit of basis other than one's opinion.

In the end I just went home on this given day after dropping her off at work, popped a Xanax and crashed for the remainder of this past Saturday and then caught hell for not answering my phone(s) as I was completely knocked out for the best part of the day. ops:

So anyhoo, can I please have my "brass balls" award now and quit being labeled as "pussy-whipped". Again, my intentions of bringing this personal matter into the open forum was to gain opinions on whether I was out of line or not in holding my grounds on this along with pointing out that all so common public attitude towards tobacco and seeking some helpful tips in order to enlighten her.

Can I has a cookie nao?

I never took like you had. I think those comments are btter seen as warnings of what will be if you DON'T stand up to her now.

I think you have handled all of this well. Er, other than your utter stupidity for letting her see your first ever snuff order when she was under the control of the bitch goddess.

But I think folks see the danger in what she is doing. And this is a critical point in your relationship with her.

But no, my friend, I still think you are all man. :wink:

[LaZeR]

Er, other than your utter stupidity for letting her see your first ever snuff order when she was under the control of the bitch goddess.

Lolz :lol: Cmon Sage, I totally respect your knowledge on tobacco but don't even try to tell me that you have the women figured out in this regard. I mean just because the damn thing isn't bleeding doesn't mean something isn't going on already or getting ready to happen. :?

But no, my friend, I still think you are all man. :wink:

I sure hope so. I was starting to worry that you were going to ask to see my p3ni5.

[sagedil]

Er, other than your utter stupidity for letting her see your first ever snuff order when she was under the control of the bitch goddess.

Lolz :lol: Cmon Sage, I totally respect your knowledge on tobacco but don't even try to tell me that you have the women figured out in this regard. I mean just because the damn thing isn't bleeding doesn't mean something isn't going on already or getting ready to happen. :?

But no, my friend, I still think you are all man. :wink:

I sure hope so. I was starting to worry that you were going to ask to see my p3ni5.

My friend, I was with my ex for 17 years. I could tell the beginning of that time EVERY time. Just a hardness to her tone told me it was coming. And yes, timing during such moments was everything :wink:

[LaZeR]

My friend, I was with my ex for 17 years. I could tell the beginning of that time EVERY time. Just a hardness to her tone told me it was coming. And yes, timing during such moments was everything :wink:

:wink: Yes my friend but do understand that not all women were created equal in this regard. Hell I had my Ex figured out to but even then by the time I had succeeded in this she left me.

With my fiance, we are much younger in our relationship at this time and still learning things about each other however with that said, overall we communicate well and share a lot in common. It's just the damn tobacco issue(s) that have posed a bit of a hurdle atm and thus part of my need to "reach out" here a little for some thoughts and advice on the way I am handling things.

"So my friend, never underestimate the "red pony and never ever assume you have her figured out"!" / John McCain...

Cheers!

[sheilalynn]

All this reminds me of what the hubby used to say, which was "Ok, you quit smoking and I'll quit drinking". Little did he know that one of these days I would actually do it :wink: So now it's "You only quit because you HAD to, and I don't HAVE to quit drinking".

Gee, think he used that line as a ploy with no intentions of ever giving up his beloved Molson Ice/JD&Coke? :P I knew though that he'd never stop buying beer! Must be a guy thing...

And as far as the whole red pony thing goes, I can't use that as an excuse for anything I do since 9 years ago the doc took out my crib but left the playpen. :lol: But still...sometimes I wonder myself if women use that as an excuse to be able to bitch and get away with it. I know that some really do use it to their advantage! :wink:

[LaZeR]

And as far as the whole red pony thing goes, I can't use that as an excuse for anything I do since 9 years ago the doc took out my crib but left the playpen. :lol: But still...sometimes I wonder myself if women use that as an excuse to be able to bitch and get away with it. I know that some really do use it to their advantage! :wink:

It's a tough time for us men but with that said I totally respect what a woman must have to go through. Hell if a part of me bled out every month, I would go nuts myself.

[Karanya]

I learned something new reading this thread. Apparently, for some women (and their SOs), PMS is a reality and not just a bad joke.

All these years I've thought it was just a way for women to excuse their own bad behavior and men to dismiss their wives' feelings.

At 31, you'd think I'd know this, but I've never experienced any kind of emotional changes around my period and I don't talk to other women much, so...

--K

[RobME]

Want to know what I think of all this? (probably not I'd guess)...

I think your sig, (the moving mouse pointer)... is annoying. I think that young monkey (baboon or whatever it is), in your avatar... looks to be confused and in pain.

I think (maybe) that you subconciously enjoy the pain, confusion and annoyance of it all, and maybe some of the attention too.

I think it's far too late for me to up at this hour... wasting my time typing this.

I think a lot of the folks who've posted to you in this thread, have provided far more intelligent and constructive food for thought, than I'm doing now.

Between you and your fiance, since (sometimes) misery loves company, you'll both somewhat unhappily, work it out, but happily is better.

And to end on a happier note ... I wish for both of you, at least half the joy that a loving, understanding and tolerant relationship should bring, because from your descriptions... the other half, you probably won't have.

but enough of my foolishness. Good Luck to you!

[sagedil]

Want to know what I think of all this? (probably not I'd guess)...

I think your sig, (the moving mouse pointer)... is annoying.

Seconded. :wink:

[LaZeR]

Want to know what I think of all this? (probably not I'd guess)...

I think your sig, (the moving mouse pointer)... is annoying.

Seconded. :wink:

Ok 2 nays and its gone... *poof* :wink:

[Veganpunk]

Much better! :wink: